


As You Wish

by rayraycash



Series: As You Wish [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: BUT THE ONES THAT DIE ARE PRETTY IMPORTANT, DON'T READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ANYTHING, DON'T READ THIS IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ANYTHING, HARRY IS A SLAVE, I MEAN A LOT A LOT OF PEOPLE DIE, I'M NOT TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HURTING ANYONE, IN FACT THAT IS WHAT IT'S CALLED, JUST KIDDING IT HAPPENS TWICE, LIKE ONCE BUT IT HAPPENS, M/M, MAJOR CHARACTERS DIE, MEMBERS OF A BOYBAND THAT YOU LOVE DIE IN THIS, MEMBERS OF ONE DIRECTION DIE, MORE LIKE A PRISONER FORCED TO DO WORK, Major character death - Freeform, NIALL IS KIND OF A SLAVE, REALLY IMPORTANT PEOPLE DIE, Really don't, THERE IS ALSO RAPE, THERE IS ALSO SLAVERY, THIS STORY IS SAD, WELL NOT REALLY THAT MANY, YOU COULD ALMOST CALL THAT MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, YOU HAD BETTER READ THESE FREAKIN TAGS, YOU WILL PROBABLY CRY A LOT, ZAYN IS ALSO A SLAVE, a lot of people die, but still, people die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-01-22
Packaged: 2017-11-26 07:46:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 23
Words: 40,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/648222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayraycash/pseuds/rayraycash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in a Medieval era where young peasant boys are sold as personal slaves to the sons of nobility.  Prince Louis Tomlinson of England, upon the coming of his tenth birthday is taken to select his very own 'playmate', and is immediately captivated by the scrawny little boy, pressed to the back of his cage with the tangled mess of curls and the most adorable dimples.  From the moment Louis laid eyes on the boy both of their lives became so permanently intertwined that no amount of threats or standing social standard could tear them apart.  However, that certainly doesn't stop anyone from trying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Polski available: [As You Wish](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1844971) by [martynaanne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/martynaanne/pseuds/martynaanne)



> Did you read the warnings and tags?
> 
> DID YOU READ THE WARNINGS AND TAGS?!
> 
>  
> 
> **DID YOU READ THE WARNINGS AND TAGS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!**
> 
>  
> 
> go read them.............. like right now
> 
> now read them again.
> 
> now enjoy the story if you can do so without putting yourself through any serious mental or emotion strife

The door to the back room creaked open, effectively waking me from my restless slumber. I was huddled in the back of my cage, my knees pulled to my chest, desperately trying to find warmth. It had been pouring outside for what felt like weeks and water was collecting on the cold stone floor. I kept my head down as people entered the room. Most likely it was another royal looking for a boy. 

It was customary that upon a young noble boy’s tenth birthday they received a boy, a playmate if you will. I’ve been in this grungy room for what I’m guessing is almost a year, seeing many boys being selected and taken away. I wanted to be picked, but all the men that entered never even glanced at my unruly curls and scrawny, translucent body. The men that feed us boys always sneer at me and laugh, saying I’m too ugly for a royal. I’ve given up hope that I’ll ever be selected. I’ll just stay in this cage until I get too old to be someone’s playmate. Then I’ll be sold as a slave. I don’t know which is worse.

“Pick out which one you want Louis.” I heard a booming voice.

Very rarely were the royal boys brought back here. Usually their fathers came and picked out their playmate for them.

I heard scuffling as light steps echoed through the room. I didn’t have to look to know that all the boys in cages would be pressed as close as they could to the young boy walking down the aisle, begging silently. We weren’t allowed to speak when potential buyers were browsing, our current keepers made that very clear.

All noise stopped when and a voice spoke gently, close to my cage.

“Is this one alright?” the young voice questioned.

“Yeah, he’s just a shy one. Keeps to himself mostly. A bit of a crier.” A familiar voice informed the boy.

I lifted my head to see which boy they were talking about to see the boy standing in front of me pressed to the wire that held me here. His clear blue eyes were staring at me, watching my every movement. A smile broke on his face when he met my eyes.

“Don’t be scared.” He spoke to me and stuck his fingers through the wire, calling me to him.

I crawled over to him, excitement bubbling inside of me. What if he wanted me? No one had ever spoken to me so gently. What if I got to go home with him? I could leave here! I reached my fingers up to touch his but a yell stopped me.

“Don’t you dare touch the Crowned Prince of England!” The keeper yelled and I immediately scooted backwards, back into my corner and straight through the water puddle.

I hugged my legs into my chest and started sniffling, trying to hold the tears in. The prince’s face contorted with anger as he snapped his head to the keeper.

“Why’d you scare him?!” I flinched at the sudden noise a buried my head in my knees.

“Louis.” The booming voice from earlier now said in a warning tone.

“He scared him! Look, now he’s huddle back there, I can’t even have a good look at him.” his voice turned to a whine as he spoke to the man he’d come here with.

“Then move on. You don’t want a boy like that anyway.” The voice stated.

My head lifted instantly at that. He didn’t like me. The man didn’t like me. But the boy might. I stared at him, still standing in front of my cage. He’s the only one that’s ever showed an interest in me. He’s my only hope to get out to this place.

I didn’t dare get closer to him, but I pulled my knees away from me and attempted to wipe away the few tears that leaked from my eyes. The boy smiled at that and I smiled back. He seemed nice. I’d love to be his playmate.

“I do want him.” The moment the words were spoken my smile grew ten times bigger.

He wanted me! He chose me!

“Louis, there are other boys here that would be much more suited for you than that one. Look at him. He’s as white as a ghost; he’ll burn anytime you take him into the sun. And that hair, it’s a mess. He’s not a very attractive one, look at how tiny he is.” the booming voice said and my smile fell.

“I don’t care. I’ll take extra care of him. Please Father. He’s the one I want.” He looked away from me now, to the man still standing at the door with a few of the keepers and some other men I didn’t recognize.

“You haven’t even gotten a good look around.”

“I don’t want to. I want him!” his voice rose again as he yelled at the man.

The big man sighed and looked at the head keeper.

“What’s his story?” at this the boy smiled back at me victoriously.

“He was sold by his parents when he was just a baby. Don’t know who raised him, but we got him a year back, we guess he’s about 8. The man swore he’d never been touched.” The keeper recited.

“Get him out. Let’s have a look at him.”

The boy moved back as my keeper walked over with his set of keys to unlock my cage door. I wasn’t sure what to do so I stayed in my place until he waved for me to come closer.

“Get on out boy. They want a look at ya.” The man said angrily and I quickly scrambled up and out the door.

It had been so long since I’d actually stood, so I stumbled out of the cage and fought to regain my balance. The man with the booming voice was now holding the boy back by his shoulders. The boy’s smile wasn’t hidden though as he continued to stare at me.

The other men that came with the boy and his father approached me now and grabbed my arm, looking me over. They moved each of my fingers and then my toes, as if looking for any deformities. Finally they stepped back and nodded to the father.

“Are you sure he’s the one you want?”

The boy only nodded smiling at me.

“Alright. We’ll take him. Get the papers.”

At that the boy smiled even wider.

“Right this way your majesty.” The head keeper said, opening the door for him and his son to walk through.

One of the men near me grabbed my arm and led me through the door as well to stand in the front room. The boy watched me closely, excitement evident on his face. I couldn’t help but smile back at him. He’d freed me. I was his playmate now.

“He was never given a name.” I heard the keeper say and I looked up at him.

I’ve always been called boy.

“Well, he must have a name.” the father spoke, “Louis, what do you want to call him?”

He stared at me for a few seconds, glancing at my hair before turning back to his father.

“Harry.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **READ THE WARNINGS AND TAGS AGAIN TO REMIND YOURSELF WHAT YOU'RE GETTING INTO!!!**

“Wake up Playmate! Crowned Prince Louis is calling for you from his bed.” An annoyed voice called through my bed chamber door.

I stirred and sat up in my bed. It was cold and my fire had gone out in the night. I shivered and pulled my blanket up more. This never happened when I stayed in Louis’ room. It was always kept warm for the prince.

The thought of a warm room had me pulling my sheets back and stepping onto the freezing cold stones of the floor. I quickly walked to the door and opened it, coming face to face with the head of Louis’ housekeeping staff. The woman merely sneered at me before walking away, leaving me to take the somewhat familiar path to the prince’s bed chamber.

I had moved out of Louis’ room last week. He was turning 18 tomorrow. He was not a boy anymore and had to “learn to control his urges” as the king had stated. I was taken from his room and put into a cold bed chamber on the other side of his wing, the side that faced the wind. Even with a fire burning it was hard to stay warm.

I didn’t knock; I never did, and walked in to find that I was correct about the room. It was very warm, even the stone floor. Louis was sitting up in his bed and smiled when I entered.

“Hazza, it feels like ages since you’ve been here.” He patted his bed for me to come sit.

“I was here just yesterday Louis.” I laughed and crawled into his giant bed.

I missed this bed so much. It was much more comfortable than the small straw mattress they’d given me. I curled into Louis’ warm side as he wrapped an arm around me.

“My God, Hazza, you’re freezing!” He exclaimed.

“My fire went out last night.” I explained.

“Who was supposed to be keeping it?” he asked, as if I had my own staff as he does.

“I was.” I laughed at his foolish question.

“Then how will you sleep? This is ridiculous! Someone should be assigned to keep your fire while you sleep!” Louis quickly became angry, but I tried to soothe him.

“Why? I’m not of importance anymore Louis. I’m just your old playmate. You’re a man now, you don’t need me anymore.” I spoke softly to him.

This seemed to make him even angrier.

“I still need you Hazza.” He replied, “I don’t care what my father or anyone else says. I’ll always need you. As long as I am in this palace, you will be also.”

I smiled at this and felt a blush creep onto my white cheeks. I snuggled closer to him hiding my blush.

“Come now Hazza. It’s time for breakfast.” Louis told me suddenly, his usual happy tone now in place.

“But, I thought…”

He looked quizzically at me.

“I was told you were calling for me.” I explained.

Louis calling for me to come to his bed chambers usually only meant one thing. Something that involved a lot more then snuggling on his bed.

“Oh that. I needed you here to walk with me to breakfast.” He smiled and stood from the bed.

He was completely naked. I wish I could still sleep naked without freezing to death.

“I don’t have my clothes with me.” I protested, but he would have none of it.

“You’ll wear my clothes. It’s of no importance.”

“I can’t. His majesty wouldn’t like that.” 

“I’m ordering it Harry.” He cut me off in his authoritative tone.

I flinched at his command. If he ever used that tone with me I knew better than to argue. Out of instinct I bowed my head, not looking at him, as I did when we were not alone. I dressed in the clothes he handed me and didn’t speak.

He took my hand when we were both ready and walked me down to the dining room, as we had so many times before. The air was tense, but it wasn’t the first time for that either.

Louis is a crown prince after all. He’s been brought up thinking that he is right, and anyone who opposes him is dead wrong. He is usually very gentle with me, but on occasion, he gets snippy, like this morning. He never apologizes though. In the eight years we’ve been together not once have I ever heard him apologize to anyone.

We entered the dining room silently. The king and queen sat at the table, along with the four young princess’. But also sitting at the table was Lord Payne and his son, Liam. Sitting on the floor beside Liam was his playmate, Zayn. Louis and Liam were best mates. The families were very close so I knew Zayn very well. 

“I believe Harry has a place at the servants’ table, Crowned Prince.” The queen spoke gently.

“He will sit next to me while I eat as he has since the day he was brought home. Won’t you Hazza?” He spoke affectionately toward me, taking my chin in his hand making me look at him.

“As you wish your highness.” I quietly recited the words I’d learned eight years ago, the words that defined my existence in this palace.

“Lovely then, it’s settled, Harry will eat with me.” Louis announced to everyone, letting go of his grasp on my chin.

I walked with him to his chair and sat next to it on the cold floor. Usually a pillow waited for me, but since I had moved out of Louis’ room it had been taken. I suppose it was an incentive to get me to eat at the servants’ table, but it wasn’t me that chose this. Louis always demanded I join him for meals, and who am I to deny the Crowned Prince of England anything?

The table top was high enough that it was over my head even when I sat up straight. Zayn sat next to me on the floor, as he always did when he came for a meal. Neither of us was allowed to eat with the family, we had to wait until they were done, but Liam and Louis both made a game of who could sneak their playmate the most food during the meal. Louis stilled held the title.

His majesty and Lord Payne started discussing something as the food was brought out. Zayn then leaned over and started whispering to me, as he always did.

“Where’s your pillow, Harry?” he asked.

Zayn wasn’t an Englishman. He was traded from his country, somewhere east of England when he was about eight. He was stolen from his home in the night and dreamed of someday returning there. I had always thought that plan was ridiculous. Liam treated Zayn well enough as I could tell. He was never abused like some of the other playmates we came in contact with. Now that I’m losing my playmate position though, I can see why Zayn would want to return home.

If I had I family to go back to, I’d be tempted to run away as well, but Louis is the only family I’ve ever known though.

“They took it away last week. They say I can’t be a playmate anymore, the Crown Prince is a man now and playmates are for boys.” I explained quietly so as not to be heard by anyone but Zayn.

“What happens when you aren’t a playmate anymore?” Zayn’s eyes widened in fear.

“They’ve taken me from his bed, I have my own chamber now. I’m not supposed to be around him as much anymore. He has to learn to control his urges.” I quoted the king.

Zayn looked even more terrified now.

“That sounds horrid.”

“It is. I’m scared I’ll get tossed away with all his old play things.” I voiced my fears to Zayn.

He only nodded, still looking scared as ever. I saw him glance up at Liam, then back to me. Liam was only sixteen. Zayn still had two years left with him, while my days were being numbered.

Tomorrow, Louis would turn eighteen. He’d be a real man then. Probably get married soon after. When he had a wife he would no longer have a need for his old playmate from childhood. I’d be useless to him. The thought scared the life from me.

A roll dropped into my lap as I imagined a life without Louis. I was snapped from it all though and picked up the roll. Louis always started this game with a roll.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **GO READ THE WARNINGS AGAIN! YOU'RE GOING TO HIT THE POINT OF NO RETURN SOON!!!!!**

After breakfast Zayn and I were permitted to go eat our own meal in the kitchen. It was never as lavish as the meal the royal family enjoyed, but it was still good. Zayn would comment often on how the food in the palace was much better than the food he received at the Payne Estate.

Niall greeted us when we entered. He’d come to the palace only a year after I arrived. He was a member of Ireland’s royal family and when England defeated them, he was taken as a prize. The young Irish Prince, worked as a kitchen boy for the British Royal Family. Despite that, Niall was always happy and gleeful, a smile seemed plastered to his face permanently. Unless of course, he came in contact with a member of the royal family, he didn’t particularly fancy their presence.

Like Zayn, Niall would sometimes discuss running away back to his home in Ireland, but he would also voice his fears of what he might find there, or more importantly, what he might not find.

“Aye, Harry! Zayn! What a fine morning!” Niall smiled happily.

“Morning Niall.” We replied as we walked to the little table set apart for us.

“What is he doing here?!” the harsh yell of the head cook had me jumping.

I turned to see the large man pointing a spoon at my head. He has never liked me, in fact, most of the servants at the palace never liked me. Louis has always had me treated like a prince, it gets under the skin of everyone in the palace, including the king and queen.

“It’s breakfast time Old Chap!” Niall yelled back light heartedly.

“I’ve been given orders that this boy eats at the servants table or doesn’t eat at all.” He stepped closer to me, still waving his spoon around.

“The Crowned Prince commanded I sit with him as he ate.” I said softly, keeping my head down.

“His Majesty, King Mark Tomlinson of England gave me specific direction to make sure that you only eat at the servants’ table. I believe my orders out rank yours, playmate.” He spoke the word with anger as most of the servants did.

I flinched at his hate-filled words. Everyone else was silent. He out-ranked all of us, especially with his orders coming from such a high place.

“I’ll wait while you eat Zayn.” I told him, knowing I couldn’t argue any further.

As Zayn ate I stood with Niall while he washed dishes. He hummed a light tune as he scrubbed the dishes I recognized from the breakfast table.

“Kitchen Boy!” I heard Louis’ voice echo through the kitchen followed by Liam’s laugh.

“I’m here your highness.” Niall responded, begrudgingly.

“Kitchen Boy, tell Hazza and Zayn that Liam and I…” he stopped when he walked around the corner and saw me standing with Niall.

“Hazza, why aren’t you eating?” He asked me, Liam only a few steps behind him.

I looked down to his riding boots, a habit I developed over the years. Any time I knew he wouldn’t like what I was about to say, I’d watch his feet.

“Answer me.” He spoke firmly.

“His majesty ordered that I am no longer permitted to eat in the kitchen.”

“Then where are you meant to eat?”

“At the servants table, while the royal family eats their meal.”

“You are not a servant.” Louis’ voice was very tense and he balled his hands into fists.

“I’m a slave.” I commented quietly.

This only upset Louis more. His fist slammed onto the counter next to me making me jump and gasp.

“You are not a slave!”

I flinched at his shout and dropped my head down further. My eyes started to tear and then suddenly Louis’ arms were around me, pulling me into his chest.

“You are not a slave Hazza,” He whispered now, “and I will not let you starve.”

I nodded into his chest, not trusting my voice. Louis hates when you don’t respond. I felt him kiss my curls then pull away gently.

“Liam and I are going riding. We won’t be back until lunch, you’ll need to eat with the servants until I can speak with my father.” He grabbed my chin and pulled my eyes away from his boots to look into his bright blue eyes.

I only nodded again and he smiled lightly. He pulled my face to his and gave me a gentle kiss. When he dropped his hand and pulled back I couldn’t help but smile and blush.

“There’s my cheeky chap. I’ll correct all this mess and you’ll be back where you belong soon enough.” He promised then took a step back.

I wanted to voice my fears to him. Tell him the Crown Prince’s orders would mean nothing when compared to the King’s. But I held my tongue. Louis didn’t like to be confronted.

I spent the rest of the day in the library with Zayn, aside from meals, when I was forced to sit with Louis’ staff to eat. The food was bad, and I hardly got as much as I’m used to. I would never dream of complaining to anyone though. Louis would throw a fit then the staff would dislike me even more.

Hours after dinner Louis and Liam came calling for us. I was becoming nervous, being away from him for so long. Rarely were we ever apart for more than a few hours. They burst through the library doors, laughing and rough housing as they came. Both their faces were red and their hair was tousled, no doubt they’d been outside. Snow was still lingering in Louis’ hair.

“We’ve been told to scurry off to bed.” Liam spoke to Zayn once he and Louis stopped laughing.

“Big day tomorrow!” Louis shouted, running to me, picking me up and spinning me around.

I laughed as he placed me back on the floor. He was still smiling when he pecked my lips.

“You’ll never sleep. You’re too excited.” I told him.

“I don’t plan on it. You’ll be staying in my bed tonight, Hazza. Let someone try to keep you away from me!”

Liam laughed at this. “Come along Zayn. We must be going to our quarters as well.”

Louis practically dragged me down the hallways to his room. His head maid stopped us though, right before we entered. She used to be Louis’ nanny, and then when he was no longer in need of her as such, she became a maid. Apparently no one has informed her of this switch in duties, because she is still always commanding Louis about. Something he rather despises.

“The playmate is not allowed in your bed while you rest Louis.” Her condescending tone rang through the empty corridor.

“I am Crown Prince Louis to you maid, you will not address me with such little respect. And furthermore, I do as I please, with whomever pleases me, whenever it pleases me.” Louis’ stern ‘King’ voice shown through proudly.

He’s gotten a bit out of control lately. He’s always been stubborn, but lately it’s as if he believes he’s already sitting on the throne of England. I’ve never heard him speak so hatefully to his old nanny. Is that what awaits me when I’m no longer needed as a playmate?

The lady said nothing else so Louis continued into the room, pulling me with him. The door was only closed a moment before he was pulling me close to him, wrapping his arms around my waist.

I waited patiently for the first kiss. It was always what determined the mood of the night. Louis set the pace, I was there to make sure it was as pleasurable for him as possible.

“I missed you at the meals. There Liam’s boy was, sitting next to him quietly. I’ve never seen him there without you beside him. I had no one to feed as I ate.” He chuckled lightly.

I was slightly taller than him when I stood up straight, but that rarely happened. It never happened around Louis. I was taught to always lay my head on his shoulder, never put my head above the Prince’s. 

One of his hands found its way into my hair and started gently pulling the spiraled mess of hair. He loved my curls. He used to always tell me when he was little he dreamed of having a curly haired boy. When he saw me that day in the cage he was instantly drawn to me. He would always finish the tale of course, with what made his mind up, my dimples. He was always going on about my “adorable dimples”.

“Do you realize that today is the anniversary of the day we met Hazza?” he whispered.

“I hadn’t thought about it.” I responded curtly.

Until he spoken that, I’d not even considered that today held a significance. Louis was not one to remember anything that did not involve solely himself. As a result, I never remember anything that does not involve solely Louis. He’s my everything. I never thought he would hold this day special. He never has before.

“Eight years ago today I saw you dressed in those awful rags, huddled in that damp cage. It’s a wonder you didn’t catch your death in there, though that was an uncharacteristically warm December.” He began rambling then, as he usually did when speaking of a memory.

“That was the happiest day of my life.” I told him once he finished his rambles.

He smiled at this and pulled me even closer to him.

“It was the happiest day of my life too. I’m so thankful I didn’t choose another boy when you were frightened.” 

I nodded into his shoulder, remembering that day all those years ago. The first time I ever saw Louis. It was the day he freed me from my cage, the day he gave me my name, the beginning of my fall for him. He has always been so perfect in my eyes. I doubt that will ever change.

“You’re the greatest thing in my life. You know that, right?” he asked me.

“I love you Louis.” I whispered to him and heard him smile.

He kissed my curls again and pulled away, grabbing my hand and leading me to his bed. I got on, without hesitation and laid down in the center. Louis smiled at my actions and crawled over to me. He straddled me and brought his lips down to meet mine in a slow and gentle kiss.

Slow and gentle, almost loving. That’s how this night is going to be.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **PEOPLE ARE REALLY MEAN TO HARRY IN THIS CHAPTER. THAT'S NOT TAGGED IN THE STORY BUT I'M WARNING YOU NOW**

Louis’ hands slid up my stomach, pushing my shirt up with them. His fingers ghosting over my chest then finally he takes the shirt over my head. I shiver as the cooler air hits my upper body. Louis’ lips reconnect with mine, this time more passionately. He unbuttons the front of his own shirt and slides it off, all without breaking contact with me. When he presses himself down onto me, a moan escapes my throat.

One of Louis’ hands caresses my face while the other presses against my hip, keeping me in place. His thumb presses and rubs a sensitive area on my stomach and I can’t help but arch into him and moan loudly.

I heard the door open on the other side of the room but quickly dismissed it. Louis’ staff is always in and out of his room, no matter what Louis himself is doing. I realized that this was not a member of his staff though, when Louis was pushed off of me and a large hand grabbed my upper arm, pulling me from the bed.

“I’ve told you before Louis. The playmate does not stay in your bed any longer.” It was the king.

I cowered at his presence, staring down at his feet. I could hear Louis moving across the bed now.

“He is none of your concern.” Louis shouted at his father, “I’m a man now. I do what I please. Who I choose to bed is my decision and my decision alone!”

“If you are a man now Louis, then act like one. Men do not continue to play with their childhood toys.”

“Harry is not a toy!”

“Louis, you can no longer have Harry. You can no longer bed men. You must prepare yourself for a wife.”

“I don’t want a wife! I want Harry!” Louis screamed at the king. I felt his grip tighten on my arm. He was becoming angered by Louis’ fighting.

“I am the King of England! Not you Crown Prince! And you will never become King unless you marry! I’ve already arranged it, and it shall happen. Do you understand me prince?”

“Arranged to who?!” Louis shouted, outraged.

“Princess Eleanor of France. She is the niece of the king. I believe you’ll adore her. She’ll make a fine queen.”

Tears sprung to my eyes at these words. Louis was already engaged and his birthday hadn’t even arrived yet. The king wanted me away from his son as quickly as possible. Louis stepped down from the bed and got closer to his father and I.

“I’ve met her,” was all he said.

“Good. You’ll be married in Spring. We’re announcing your engagement tomorrow night at the ball.”

To that, Louis said nothing. He only stood silently. The air was tense and suffocating. My chest felt tight as I desperately tried to contain my tears.

“Now say good night to your playmate Louis. He’ll be coming with me.” The king pushed me forward slightly but still held my arm firmly.

“He’s mine!” Louis shouted grabbing my other arm and attempting to pull me into him.

Louis was no match for the king’s strength though. I was just being pulled in opposite directions by the father and son, still trying to contain my feelings.

“Do you wish to become King one day Louis?” the king spoke evenly.

Louis didn’t respond but I could see him staring daggers at his father.

“Then I suggest you release him. It’s either the throne or this boy, make your choice.”

“You can’t do that!” this shout was more of a desperate plea than angry.

“I make the rules, my son. Let go of your playmate or surrender your crown.”

Without even a moment’s hesitation Louis dropped his hold on me. My head shot up then to stare into his clear blue eyes. The love of my life just gave me up. It didn’t take him a second to choose his throne over me. 

I’d die for him. I’d give anything to be with him forever, for him to love me the way I love him. But I’m just his playmate. I’ve been foolish to believe I meant anything more to him. Foolish to believe his promises to keep me in the palace. 

If I’m lucky, I’ll become a servant, but most likely I’ll be sold. No matter how many times Louis denied it, I was a slave. I’d been bought and would be sold again to get me as far from the prince as possible.

A sob finally escaped my throat as I stared into Louis’ eyes. I saw pain there, but couldn’t trust myself to judge if it was sincere or an act. The king started pulling me out of Louis’ bed chamber then but paused before we exited.

“He will remain your playmate until your wedding day then he will be relocated. But Louis, don’t test my threat. If you choose to try, I will strip you of your title and feel no remorse.”

I cried myself to sleep that night and in the morning when I was awoken by a pounding on my door I only laid still. My heart was broken and my strength to go on had disappeared. All the uncertainty that I’d been facing last week was now a clear, crystallized picture of my future. I only had a few months left with the love of my life. The man that I thought loved me in return.

The pounding became harder, but I still made no move to answer them, it’s not like any of the servants like me. I might as well give them an actual reason to hate me.

“Harry?” Louis’ voice called just barely loud enough for me to hear it.

Out of reflex I stood from the bed. I wanted to cry more at the thought of him.

“Yes your highness.” I called back.

The door quickly opened and Louis slipped inside. He ran to me and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. He started to kiss me but I turned my head away.

He stepped back, shocked by my actions.

“Hazza…”

His pet name for me only hurt me worse. He doesn’t love me, he’s only pretending.

“Happy Birthday.” It hurt me to say the words.

He only stared, so I spoke up again, desperately wanting him to leave so I could cry in private.

“You’ll be late for breakfast your highness.” I told him.

“Why are you calling me that? We’re in private, Hazza.” He sounded confused.

He’d catch on. He wasn’t dumb. When he leaned in to kiss me again, I turned away. This time he became angry.

“I command you to tell me what is wrong with you.” He stated sternly, but I could hear pain behind his words.

I felt my heart break even more. He was hurting because of me. My actions were hurting him.

“I’m sorry Louis. It was a rough night.” I lied, but he seemed to believe it.

“I’d say so. Your fire went out again.” He chuckled, gesturing toward my dark fire pit.

I only smiled at this. Now Louis leaned in again to kiss my lips and I didn’t turn away.

“Come now, get dressed. Let’s go to breakfast.”

I did as he said and let him lead me to the kitchen, where the servants eat. As soon as we entered the room all the servants stood out of respect for him.

“Happy Birthday, your highness.” A broken chorus’ rang through the room but Louis ignored them. He often expressed to me his dislike of the servants. He was always looking for the opportunity to punish one.

He and Liam sometimes played a harsh game to test the cleaning staff. They would intentionally break things in front of maids to see what they would do. They’d gotten more than a few servants in serious trouble during their little games.

He pecked my forehead, in front of all the servants then told me he’d find me after breakfast. When I sat down at one of the larger tables that held all Louis’ staff the heckling started.

“Must be nice, being treated like a prince even though we all know you’re just a slave.” A maid called from down the table.

“He’s not being treated like a prince anymore, Caroline! He’s been forced to eat with the lowly servants instead of alone in the kitchen!” a voice from another table called.

“Ignore them.” The girl beside me whispered.

I looked over at her and she smiled.

“They’re just jealous.”

I nodded slightly and looked back down to my plate.

“I’m Gemma, one of Crown Prince Louis’ maids.” She introduced herself.

“I’m Harry, Louis’ playmate.” I introduced myself though she probably already knew who I was.

“Louis! The little cunt is calling the crown prince by only his first name! Oh look at me, I’m Louis’ playmate!” another man shouted, obviously listening in on mine and Gemma’s conversation.

I looked down again and a blush rose up in my cheeks. I shouldn’t speak to the servants. I shouldn’t speak around the servants.

“Shut up old man! You’re only jealous that you can’t speak so openly to the royals. You’d have your head taken if Crown Prince heard you jabbing at Harry here! Harry’s as close to royalty as will ever sit at these tables and you know it!” Gemma retaliated.

“Royalty? Gemma, you’re a maid for the young prince, I know you’ve seen what that boy’s use is, and it ain’t nothing near nobility, much less royalty! You can dress an ass in the finest saddles and trinkets, but at the end of the day, it’s still not a horse!”

I stood from the table then and began to walk away silently. I didn’t need to eat. I couldn’t eat, not with their harassment. I couldn’t stay there another moment.

“Running off little ass?” a man taunted as I walked by him.

Anger bubbled inside of me like it never had before. What had I ever done to these people? I knew that more than half of them were slaves, bought specifically for one job, just like me.

“No,” I turned to him, speaking directly to one of my tormentors for the first time, “I’m going to wait for Louis to finish his meal. I’m sure he’ll be just dying to know the conversation that occupy’s the servants’ dining table. You’re all aware of his favorite game?”

No one spoke up, so I just continued, “Getting servants punished. He and young Lord Liam are in a competition. Louis is very competitive, and this time he’ll actually have reasonable cause.”

The room went silent as I walked out. I’d never thought about it before, but compared to the other servants, I did have a little bit more influence. It was no secret that Louis was attached to me, in some opinions, namely the King’s, too attached. And it was also no secret that Louis got pretty much whatever he wanted around the palace. One word to him and I could have any of the servants beheaded. Not that I’d ever wanted such a thing previously, but after only a day of sharing a table with them, I wouldn’t mind seeing some of their severed heads rolling around on the dirt floor of the courtyard.


	5. Chapter 5

After leaving the dining room I realized how foolish I was being. None of the servants deserved to be beheaded, though Louis would surely think otherwise. They were, as Gemma had put it, just jealous. 

Instead of going off to wait for Louis I walked into the kitchen. It was very busy, due to the ball tonight, but Niall had managed to sneak off into the storage room. I joined him there, hoping no one would find me, especially not the head cook.

“People will always be jealous of the playmate. It just happens. It only means you’ve got something worth having, a place at a higher circle, that’s all.” The Irish prince comforted me after I told him why I was joining him.

“But I’m losing it all Niall. My days are numbered. Louis and this French Princess are to be married in spring. What happens then? The servants welcome me with open arms as one of their own?” I begged of him.

Niall and Zayn were really the only people I could openly talk to, especially about matters such as this. I’d discovered that Niall actually lived a few doors down from my room, also on the cold side of the palace.

“I don’t know what will happen, Harry. Only time will tell.” His accent shown heavily through his wise words.

“I’m tired of waiting. He doesn’t even want me anymore Niall. He gave me up last night without a fight. What am I supposed to do? They’re going to sell me to who knows where, to do who knows what! I love him Niall. I love him more than anything else in this world. I can’t just sit around waiting for him to sell me.” I confessed my biggest heartache to the Irish lad.

A serious expression crossed his features then. He leaned in closer to me and I instinctively leaned closer to him.

“Do you really mean that?” he asked, all laughter gone from his voice, completely serious.

“Yes, I can’t stand this anymore.” I told him.

“Run away with me tonight, back to Ireland. I can free you. You’ll be able to do as you please. No more serving an ungrateful prince. No more snippy jealous servants. You’ll be free to do whatever you wish.” Niall spoke quickly in hushed tones.

“Leave the palace? We’ll never get away. They’ll find us. Louis will know I’m missing.” I countered.

“Not if we leave after they announce the engagement. Everyone will have their eyes on Louis and his bride-to-be and all the attention will go right to his head. You’ll be the last thing on his mind.”

The realization stung, but it was the truth. Tonight would be all about Louis, and he’ll be loving every minute of it. He wouldn’t notice if I slipped away, and then by morning I’d be long gone when he came calling to my room.

“How will we get out?” I whispered to him, suddenly afraid that someone was listening to us.

“We’ll wait until right before the announcement. The king will surely start having everyone gathered to make a toast. That’s when we’ll slip out the back kitchen service entrance that leads to the stables.”

“But how will we get a horse? All the hands will be out there watching the visitor’s carriages.” I interrupted him.

“They always bring in new hands for events like this. We just need to act like we know what we’re doing. Say a guest is leaving and we’re getting their horses. After that, we head south to Ireland.”

He really had this all planned out. I sat up again, taking in all of his words. I was skeptical of course, did I really want to abandon Louis? I still had a few months with him. Did I want to give those away? And Niall couldn’t really promise much, he didn’t know what state his homeland was in, or even if his family still sat on the throne.

“I need to think about this.” I stated and he only shook his head.

“What’s to think about, Lad? Freedom is calling your name.”

“Louis is the one that gave me that name. I owe him everything.”

“You just told me he gave you up. He won’t choose you in the end Harry. He’ll be married to this princess, he’ll become king, he’ll raise a family, and he won’t give a damn about where you’ve ended up. Ireland is your only hope to a normal life. You won’t be a slave anymore. You’ll be free.” Niall pleaded with me.

It was obvious he didn’t want to leave me behind. He was one of the best mates a lad could ask for. He wanted me to be free.

“But I love him.” I whispered, this time because I felt ridiculous.

Why did I feel so strongly about Louis? Other playmates hated their boys. Even Zayn, who was fond of Liam, would never pass up an opportunity to run away. Suddenly I thought of him. He dreamed of returning home. I couldn’t run away without taking him with me.

“He’s only using you Harry. You’re his playmate, you may as well be an object in his eyes.” Niall snapped me back to our conversation.

I knew he was right. Louis only wanted me because, until now, he’s needed me. But once he had this new wife, I’d be yesterday’s garbage. Still, the line Louis spoke the night before kept ringing through my head.

‘I don’t want a wife! I want Harry!’

He seemed genuine, like he desperately wanted me above this princess. That didn’t really matter though, he wanted the crown. He’s always wanted the crown, and the only way to get it is to marry this girl. I wanted to pluck her eyes out from jealousy.

“Okay.” I breathed.

Niall smiled at this and leaned back. He patted my leg and laughed lightly.

“It’s a smart choice.”

“We have to take Zayn with us though. I’d never forgive myself if I left him here when he’s dreamed of running away for so long.” I bargained and Niall nodded.

“Okay, but only him. We tell no one else. Deal?” Niall reached his hand out to shake mine.

I shook his hand and smiled to myself. I’d be leaving before anyone could ship me off. Freedom was only a day away.

“You’d better head out. They’ll be finishing breakfast up about now. He’ll be looking for you.” Niall pointed out and I nodded, standing from my spot on the floor.

“We’ll talk more of this later?” I asked, still unsure of all the details.

He nodded and smiled happily, as if suddenly more care free than he’d ever been. At this my confidence grew. I’d be off tonight to a whole new life, a life I where I get to make my own decisions, a life without Louis.

The last thought made my heart drop, but I quickly shook away the disappointment. He may want me, but he wanted his throne more, and he couldn’t have both.

I made my way quickly from the kitchen to find Louis standing right outside the door. He looked taken aback when I burst through, but a smile quickly took charge of his face.

“Hazza! I was just coming after you! I’ve been told to go visit the tailor and I’ve heard you are also wanted there.” A smirk graced his flawless features as he spoke.

“Why would I be wanted at the tailor’s?” I asked shyly.

The tailor would be so busy with robes for the royal family surely they would have no time for me. My usual dress attire was a pair of tight fitting trousers, a simple button-down shirt and a pair of dress shoes. I’ve never been tailored on a ball day, I’ve never needed it.

“You’ll find out soon enough.” He took my arm and started our walk to the tailor, pulling me along behind him.

The short walk was silent but when we entered the tailor’s room, noise overtook us. The four young princess’ were sitting about the room, waiting to be fitted, all their nannies sat patiently fighting with the girls. The moment we entered though, all attention was on the pair of us.

“Louis!” all four girls shouted running toward us.

Phoebe was the first to reach him and Louis threw her into the air. She only giggled as he set her down again.

“Is it true Louis!? Are you to be married to Princess Eleanor?!” Phoebe’s twin sister, Daisy, asked excitedly.

My heart sank again at her words. She sounded so excited.

“I am, my little flower.” Louis replied, picking her up next.

“Can I be the flower girl?!” Charlotte yelled clearly elated.

“I want to be the flower girl!” Felicite argued.

“No! I want to be the flower girl!” the twins shouted in unison.

If the subject wasn’t so heartbreaking, I might find all of their bickering adorable.

“The bride chooses the flower girl, little princesses. It isn’t up to me.” Louis informed them, “Now, let’s move on from talk of weddings. It is my eighteenth birthday and I’ve not heard a single well wish from any of you!”

Louis adores his sisters. I’d say if there was to be one thing he would give the throne up for it would be his sisters. Charlotte was born only a year before I arrived and the rest of the princesses have entered the world since. Louis used to spend all day in their nurseries, making the young girls giggle. He never wanted to leave their sides.

“Happy Birthday Lou!” the girls all shouted, jumping in excitement.

I watched on with a smile. The girls adored him as much as he, them.

“Harry.” A tailor called from behind a curtain.

I looked up then as Louis pulled himself away from the girls. He told them to stay then took my hand and led me around the silky curtain. What was waiting for me took the breath from my chest.

The outfit that hung on the wall before me was elaborately detailed. A jacket made of crushed velvet in a scarlet red hung over a glossy white shirt, ruffled in the front as all the noblemen wore. Slick black trousers hung neatly beside the shirt with a pair of fresh stockings. Crisp, new, leather shoes rested on the floor adorned with, what looked like, solid gold buckles.

“Louis, you’ll look so handsome in it.” I whispered, breathing still hard.

“It’s not for me Hazza.” He chuckled.

I snapped my head to stare at him. What did he mean this wasn’t for him? This ensemble was fit for a king! Who else would ever be allowed to wear such a thing?

“It’s your outfit for tonight.” His smile grew even wider as he spoke, “I’ve had it made just for you.”

I couldn’t speak. I was meant to wear this? I, the lowly playmate, was meant to wear the clothes only a king could afford, to my boy’s wedding announcement? What would the king say about this? What would the guests say?

More important than the sure to be gossip though was the guilt that washed over me in large crashing waves. I’m running away tonight. Running away in clothing that Louis had made just for tonight. I already knew I couldn’t bear to leave Zayn behind, but could I really ever leave this palace, and the love of my life? Suddenly, even the few months we would have together if I stayed appeared brighter than my lifelong freedom in Ireland.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **LARRY HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS IN THIS CHAPTER WITH NO LUBRICANT. THAT'S ALSO NOT IN THE STORY WARNINGS, BUT CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED. DON'T READ THIS CHAPTER IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT.**

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Zayn spoke quietly to me in the parlor.

I found him there, alone, after lunch when I explained Niall’s plan. He seemed hesitant about the entire thing.

“Haven’t you always wanted to return to your home? This could be your only chance.” I tried to convince him but it didn’t seem to work.

“What if we’re caught? We’ll be made an example of, especially you and Niall. We’re slaves Harry, you two are royal salves. We can’t just run the night of the Prince’s Birthday Ball.” Zayn whispered with urgency.

“So you won’t come with us?” I asked, slightly shocked by this.

“I don’t understand why you are going. What’s waiting for you in Ireland? Crown Prince Louis adores you, he protects you. Even Lord Payne comments on how attached he is. I’ve never met a playmate treated as well as you. You’re treated better than most of the nobility across England.”

“He’s getting married come spring. The King said I was to be relocated the day of his wedding. Zayn, I can’t just sit and watch Louis turn away from me. He’ll surely start spending more time with his bride to be, and I can’t stand the thought of her. I won’t just sit idly as I’m stripped of everything. Ireland is my only hope of a good life, one where I’m free to do as I please.” I explained, hoping he would understand.

Zayn stared at me for a while before shaking his head slightly and bringing a hand to wipe away tears I hadn’t realized I’d been shedding. When he leaned back he was smiling sadly.

“You’ve fallen in love with him.” He stated and I could only nod.

Louis was everything to me. He was my first thought every morning, my last thought at night, and the star of all my dreams. He was the only person in this world I lived to please. I’d run to the edge of the world and back if he asked that of me. I needed him more than I need food and water. I’d rather die a slow painful death than see him suffer.

“Harry…” Zayn trailed off sympathetically.

I knew he loved Liam to an extent, but he wasn’t in love with him. Zayn actually preferred girls to boys. He’d once been beaten after he was caught kissing a maid in his estate. I’d never had any interest in anyone other than Louis though.

“Do you know if he loves you in return?” Zayn gently questioned.

“Louis doesn’t talk of feelings.” I told him, my voice now scratchy from tears.

“Harry…”

“I know Zayn, I know he doesn’t love me. I’m his playmate, that’s all.”

“Is this why you’re running? You’ve realized he doesn’t return your feelings.” 

I stared into Zayn’s sad, brown eyes for a few moments before looking down. I couldn’t bear to see the pity there. He pitied my situation. He knew I had attempted to fight a battle for Louis’ affection that I had no hope of ever winning. The throne has been Louis’ one and only love and goal since he was old enough to understand its purpose. I couldn’t even dream of a world where Louis would give up his birthright for a lowly little slave, even if he treated that slave like an equal.

“I can’t go with you.” He spoke when he was sure I wouldn’t respond, “I won’t run the night of a ball, it’s a foolish decision.”

“Then it seems this is our last day together.” I said, disappointed that he wouldn’t come with us.

“No, one day I will escape here, and possibly we’ll meet again, outside the palace walls.” He told me, hope glimmering in his eyes.

“Possibly.” I smiled to him.

That afternoon I stood in Louis’ bed chamber to get dressed with him, as we did every year. He dressed quickly in his new attire fashioned specifically for this evening, then turned around to see I hadn’t even undressed. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the scarlet jacket.

“You’ll need to get dressed before we can make my grand entrance.” Louis teased from behind me.

I sucked in a breath, thoughts buzzing through my head quicker than I could process them.

Niall and I had spoken more once I’d left Zayn. We would be meeting just outside the kitchen doors when the king announced Louis’ engagement. Niall even told me that upon the event that I was beside Louis and couldn’t slip away unnoticed, I should wait for the congratulations to commence before slowly wandering over.

Once at the kitchen we would enter through the servants’ entrance and then head straight back to the exit nearest the stables. After I explained what Louis was dressing me in, Niall decided it would be best to approach hired stable hands claiming to be a noble and his playmate. No one would question that I looked like nobility tonight.

We would take two horses and ride west as quickly as possible. Neither of us was sure of how far north or south we were in the country, but Niall was positive that as long as we hit the west coast, we’d make it to Ireland.

“Here, I’ll help you.” Louis whispered in my ear, suddenly much closer.

His arms wrapped around my front pressing into my chest. I felt his breath on my neck as he undid the first button on my shirt. It took much longer than necessary and finally, when he moved on to the second button, he started kissing my neck.

I moaned and laid my head back, giving him more access as he sucked on a sensitive spot. I momentarily thought of the bruise he would surely leave behind, but those thoughts stopped when Louis bit down a on the spot he was abusing. Another moan ripped through my body as I felt my arousal pressing into my tight trousers. 

I felt his smirk as he grabbed my shirt and ripped it apart, popping the rest of the buttons off. His hand scratched down my chest then, making me press back into him. He licked over the bruised spot on my neck one last time before pulling away.

“It’s been a long time Hazza.” He whispered.

His hands scratched down my chest to my trousers, where he roughly pushed them down. I hissed as the cooler air hit my erection.

“Louis” I moaned

A bang on the door startled me and I leaned away from him, but Louis pulled me back.

“I’m not letting someone take you away from me again.” He spoke quickly, pulling his own trousers down.

The banging continued a little louder, but Louis paid no mind to it. He started caressing his own erect member while I prepared myself for what was about to happen. He started pushing me toward the end of the bed, away from my new clothes. One hand found its way to my hip while the other led his penis to my entrance.

Instinctively I spread my legs and leaned onto the foot of the bed, bracing myself. I felt his tip start to slowly push in and took a deep breath. This would be quick, he didn’t kiss me properly, he was rushing.

“Your highness! All the guests have arrived!” a voice yelled through the door.

Louis grunted in pleasure as he pushed all the way in. I winced in, feeling the familiar raw pain. He pulled out and slammed in again, this time grunting louder.

“Your father is waiting for you!” the voice tried again.

“Tell my father I’ll be along soon!” Louis strained to answer the voice I was in no state to place.

He pulled almost all the way out and slammed back in roughly causing a scream to escape my throat. Tears rolled down my face as Louis pulled out again. I felt him shift slightly then slam back in and this time another scream tore through me, but out of pleasure, not pain.

He chuckled slightly then pulled out and slammed into that spot again. My body arched and I threw my head back. He started up a rhythm then, slamming into that glorious place inside of me until his thrusting started to get sloppy. I felt his nails dig into my hips and knew he was about to reach his climax.

“Hazza…” he let out the strangled cry and slammed into me one last time before releasing.

Louis rode out his orgasm until he finally slowed to a stop. He pulled out then and I winced.

“Well, I suppose we ought to get going now.” He laughed while fixing his trousers.

I stood back up then, wincing more. I could feel Louis’ semen leaking from my buttocks while everything still felt raw. Although there was a considerable amount of pain in my back side, my still erect penis was starting to hurt even more. I wasn’t allowed to touch it though, that was a rule.

Louis must have noticed my pain because he stepped closer to me and pulled me into a gentle kiss. His hand wrapped around me and he finished me off making sure not to get any on either of us.

“I’ll be more gentle tonight, Love.” He promised when he pulled away.

Still no apology, but his actions showed remorse. I felt guilt stab me though. I wouldn’t be here tonight if everything went according to plan.

Louis helped me into my clothes and stood back to look at me. He smiled at me and walked closer.

“You look like a prince.” He commented grabbing my hands and lacing our fingers.

I blushed and looked at the ground. He treated me like a prince. In moments like these I felt so confident that he shared my feelings. It was like we were the only two people on the Earth that mattered. He grabbed my chin then and pulled my face up to meet his eyes. I knew what he wanted, and I was more than willing to give it to him.

“I love you, Louis.” I told him.

His smile grew even bigger then and he leaned in to peck my lips.

“Come now. The guests are waiting.”  
   



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **YOU THINK THIS CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE HAPPY, BUT REALLY IT ISN'T.**

As always, Louis’ Birthday Ball was extravagant. The Great Hall was decorated in fine silks and tapestries from around the world, the long table was set with polished silver, servants kept every glass full of wine. Louis’ grand entrance was a spectacle, another regular occurrence.

At the top of the Grand Staircase, the servants had rigged up ten Chinese flames. Louis was so excited when His Majesty had described the things. Apparently the Chinese had created these flames that could explode in the air into different colors. These things were going to be set off behind him, giving him the illusion of walking through flames. I thought it sounded ridiculously dangerous, but Louis loved the idea, and that’s what mattered.

“Squeeze my hand if you become frightened, Hazza.” He whispered to me as we stood in place.

“And now, introducing his royal highness, Crown Prince Louis Tomlinson of England!” The familiar announcer’s voice boomed through the hall.

I took a step forward as Louis did and the flames shot off behind us. Startled gasps echoed through the hall before everyone realized that the brightly colored flames were staged. Finally though applause took hold and soon the room was full of cheers. Once at the bottom of the steps, Louis strode proudly up the table, smiling and waving to all the nobility that stood, awaiting his arrival. He stopped at his chair and released my hand waving for everyone to be silent.

“Thank you all so much for coming to the party!” He yelled down the table, “As you all surely know by now, I like to enjoy my dinner before dancing, so let us all dine together!”

Cheers broke out again as everyone was seated. I went to leave the hall to join all the other playmates in an annex room off the side of the Great Hall, but Louis grabbed my hand to stop me.

“You’ll dine with us tonight Harry.” He told me, gesturing with his free hand to the empty seat beside him.

I froze. What did he mean? How could this be possible? I, the playmate, dining side by side with Europe’s highest ranking nobility and royalty. The mere thought had my brain buzzing into overdrive.

“But…” I tried to come back with a reason I wasn’t able to sit with him, because there were many, but the smile on his face stopped me.

Tonight would be the first and last time I every dined with Louis, and I would make the most of it.

When I sat, Louis connected our hands under the table as he conversed with those around him. The King sat at the head of the table, with Lord Payne on his right and Louis on his left. Across from me was another king, one I didn’t recognize. Another nobleman sat beside me. I felt suffocated by all the unfamiliar faces. After looking at the plate I realized I had no idea which fork to use or what glass to drink from. I was unprepared and would probably embarrass myself in front of these men.

“How wonderful of you to finally join us Louis! We were beginning to think you weren’t coming!” The King laughed, but his undertone showed his annoyance.

“Well Father, I had a few matters left to attend to before I could enjoy the party.” Louis joking stated.

That was all that was said throughout the entire meal that I could follow. The king across from me was French. He was the uncle of Louis’ betrothed. I hated him just by association. Politics was the discussion at the table tonight and Spain was a particularly hot topic.

Louis seemed just as interested and added to the conversation as much as the other men seated with him. He was born to be king. It showed in everything he did.

I managed to stumble through dinner without using the incorrect fork or drinking from the wrong glass. The food, especially compared to the servants’ meals, was divine. I’ve never tasted such rich flavors all in one bite.

Once diner was over, the table was cleared quickly and efficiently by servants as a band began to play a line dance tune. Everyone began clapping and dancing in the large open area.

I began to feel the nerves building up when I saw Niall cleaning up spilled wine someone had dropped. Louis had surprised me a great deal tonight. I would never expect this of him, but yet I was still seated next to the Crown Prince of England in the Great Hall.

Three more songs passed before the King stopped the band. I realized this would be my moment. I needed to slip away somehow, but how could I? Louis’ hand was still connected with mine under the table.

“I’ve an announcement to make!” He bellowed, “But first, my present to my dear son Louis! Now a man on his eighteenth birthday!”

He stood then and gestured for Louis to do the same. Our hands fell apart as the King walked around the table to a servant boy carrying a long slender box.

Louis followed him as did everyone else seated around us. I remained in my seat though, hoping that the gift would make enough commotion for me to sneak off unnoticed.

I heard a collective gasp from the crowd, and knew it was time. I heard the King’s voice as I slipped away to the kitchen.

“This sword was given to me by my father the day I became a man as he father did before him, and his father before him, so now, Louis, I give this to you.” That was all I caught before the kitchen door swung closed behind me. Niall was waiting only a few feet away.

“You’re ready then?” he asked and I nodded.

We started back toward the servants exit leading to the stables. Niall reached down and grabbed my hand, which had me quickly pulling away and stopping. I was strictly prohibited from any form of affection toward anyone except Louis.

“I have to pretend to be your boy, remember?” Niall asked quietly.

“Oh, yes, I’d forgotten.” I took his hand again and couldn’t help but feel wrong about it.

I wanted this to be over as quickly as possible. Niall was my friend, but I didn’t want to hold his hand any longer than necessary.

The stable boys saw us approaching and, as Niall assumed, they treated me as nobility. I only uttered the name Payne, knowing they had ridden horses, and the boys were busy saddling up Lord Payne and Liam’s horses for us. In only minutes we were exiting the palace gates.

I loud cheerful laugh escaped Niall as we rode through the frigid air. We ran the horses toward the setting sun. Ireland awaited us.

Very quickly after our journey began it slowed due to our lack of preparation. We hadn’t included into our plan that the snow fell heavier tonight than any other time this season, or that neither of us had had the time to gather a coat or blanket. We would need to make it to Ireland in no less than two days or the horses would surely freeze along with the both of us.

This realization didn’t damper our spirits though. We laughed as we travelled, energized by the thought of a new, free life.

“Wait, Harry, what was that noise?” Niall asked suddenly, stopping his horse to look around.

“What noise, Niall?” I chuckled at him.

He’d been hearing things since we exited the gate. We’d been travelling for what I would guess to be an hour. He was jumpy, but that was to be expected. This time though, he seemed genuinely concerned.

“I thought I heard shouting.” He responded, still frozen in place.

That’s when I heard it too. A shout that sounded much like a battle cry reached my ears. I froze then too, staring at Niall.

“Are they after us?” I asked him.

“I don’t want to find out! Come on!” He kicked his horse then, causing her to race forward.

I did the same and we raced together, away from the shouts behind us. Snow flew into my vision as I tried to steer my horse through the obstacles on the road, but Niall managed to get far ahead of me. He was a prince after all. He’d been riding horses his entire life, I’d hardly had an experience with them alone.

“Harry!” I heard Niall’s shout, he was far ahead.

“Go on! I’ll catch up!” I yelled back to him.

“That’s what you think Playmate!” The voice called from behind and I felt a rope circle around me body.

I didn’t even have time to process what was happening before the rope suddenly tightened and yanked me off my speeding horse. I fell to the ground, landing on my back. The breath was knocked from my lungs and I gasped for air.

“Go after the other one and get Lord Payne’s horse. I’m taking this one back to the ball.” I heard a deep voice laugh before a blacked out.

 

Water being thrown on me is what awoke me. I realized very quickly, after jerking awake, that I was bound by my hands and feet and I was lying in the middle of the Great Hall. The guests from Louis’ party were circled around me.

A hand grabbed my hair and pulled me around to face Louis. He was staring down at me with a mixture of pain and anger in his gaze.

“Here you are, Your Highness, your playmate.” The same deep voice from earlier spoke.

He then released me and, because I was bound, I fell straight to the floor. My head hit hard against the stone and I was sure it would be bleeding. I fought to look at Louis though. Zayn’s words from earlier played in my head, ‘You’ll be made an example of’. The only one that could possibly save me was Louis.

I managed to turn my head enough to stare at him pleadingly. I felt like a fattened pig, about to be slaughtered.

“Was he alone?” the King asked the man.

“No, there was another. I sent the rest of my party after him while I brought this one back.”

“Get me the whip.” I heard the King’s command and knew who’d be receiving the lashings.

Louis was still staring at me, the fear I felt was reflected in his eyes.

“No.” Louis stated.

“He ran away, Louis. He will receive a punishment.”

“He is my responsibility now. I choose his punishment.” Louis argued and whispers started around the hall.

“It is law that any slave or serf caught attempting to run away receives thirty lashes!” The King’s voiced boomed and the whispers ceased, “But you are correct, he is your responsibility now. You will give him the lashes.”

Louis looked away from me then, to where the King stood. He didn’t speak.

“Or are you not fit to do so?” I didn’t miss the taunt in the King’s words, and neither did Louis.

This was another test. The King was reminding him what was on the line. It would be either me or the throne, Louis would not have both. This is why I was hurt but not surprised when Louis muttered the words:

“Give me the whip.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **HARRY IS WHIPPED IN THIS CHAPTER. HE IS VERY BRUTALLY WHIPPED AND THEN SLAPPED IN THE FACE. ABUSE IS ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. A LOT OF ABUSE.**

I stared at Louis as he took the whip from a servant. The same servant I had threatened this morning at breakfast. He was no longer smirking, instead his eyes held pity.

Thirty lashes. That was my fate. I’ve never been punished before. Not once in my eight years here have I ever stepped out of line. Now though, I’d done the unspeakable. Part of me wished that Louis wouldn’t have the nerve to hurt me, but I knew that was unrealistic.

He couldn’t let me get away with this in front of the nation’s nobility. He couldn’t appear weak. He would become king soon and he needed the respect and fear of his people. Zayn was right. Running away the night of a ball was a foolish decision.

I heard a clank next to me and suddenly someone was picking me up to lay me across a stool. My heart speed in my chest, fear consumed me, and I let out a strangled cry.

“Please Louis!” I yelled to him and the hall went silent again.

Tears flooded my eyes and poured down my cheeks.

“I didn’t mean it! Please don’t do this! I love you Louis! I never meant to hurt you!” I screamed to him.

I could make out his blurred figure through the tears as Louis walked closer to me. He grabbed my cheeks and made me look into his eyes.

“You should not have ran, Hazza.” He whispered to me and I could hear the tears in his voice as well, “Silence yourself and take the lashings you deserve.”

I was thrown on the stool then and my shirt was ripped open, leaving my back naked and vulnerable. More tears poured down my face and sobs shook my body. I was strapped down tightly and finally the servant stepped away.

My sobs were all I heard until the sound of the whip echoed through the hall. A test crack. I would be the first to receive Louis’ punishment.

“No! Please Louis!!! Please No!!!” I screamed, pulling at the binding.

Without any warning the whip slashed into my back. I threw my head back and screamed in pain. It was much worse than I’d ever imagined. Only one lash held more pain than I’d ever experienced, even back in my days as a house slave, I was never punished so harshly.

“SILENCE!!!” I could still hear the tears in his voice.

The second lash struck my back and I screamed out again. The third hurt worse, and fourth even worse than that. I counted each and every strike, praying that thirty would get there soon. My back felt like it was on fire.

By the twentieth lash I lost all my energy to sob and scream. I could only whimper as the last ten strikes crossed my wounded back. 

I counted the last crack of the whip and let myself crumple only to be met with another slash. I felt a small piece of me snap as the whip then cracked again, for the thirty-second time on my abused skin. I practically felt myself break into pieces as the whip came down yet again. I couldn’t hold on any longer, so I let myself drift off into unconsciousness. 

 

When I woke again, I felt a cold rag being dabbed on my back. I hissed in pain as it landed on raw flesh.

“Shhhh, I have to clean you up. You’ll get an infection.” A girl whispered from behind me.

It was the maid I’d sat with today at breakfast, Gemma.

“You’re in Crown Prince Louis’ room. I don’t think they’re sending a physician up so I came to help.” She explained.

Sure enough, I was in Louis’ room. I felt the soft mattress underneath me, felt the warm fire, and smelled the distinct scent of Louis. I wanted to cry again, but couldn’t find the energy. It was hard enough just keeping my eyes open.

I’d just barely closed my eyes when the door slammed open and a growl sounded in the room.

“Get out maid.”

It was Louis. He was here to punish me further. How many cracks of his whip did my back endure after I’d passed out? How long did he continue my punishment? I didn’t want to see his face again. I only wished that he would kill me so I could be done with the pain he was still inflicting upon me.

Gemma scurried from the room and Louis slammed the door shut. He approached me and knelt so we were face to face.

“Why did you run from me?” for once his anger didn’t scare me, I felt no remorse for what I’d done to cause it.

The secret was out. Louis had no feelings for me. I was like a toy to him, that’s all. He used me for whatever was needed. If that was how he saw it then fine, I’d return the gesture.

I attempted to turn my head but he grabbed it.

“Answer me.” He yelled.

“I want to leave.” I croaked out, my voice was scratchy and my throat hurt.

“Why?! What have I ever done to hurt you?!” He asked, the anger was dissipating from his voice.

“I don’t want to wait for you to throw me away.” I said with as much anger as I could muster.

“I’m not throwing you away! I’ve never told you you’d be thrown away. I promised to keep you here with me in the palace!” Louis shrieked.

“I don’t want to be your slave anymore.”

“You are not a slave!”

“I was sold to your father and given to you as a gift. I am a slave. I don’t care if you refuse to acknowledge it, it is still the truth.”

He slapped my cheek then. I hissed at the new pain. 

“Do not contradict me.” He commanded and I closed my eyes, feeling tears slipping from them.

“As you wish.”

I heard him take a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“I was going to free you tonight.”

At this I snapped my eyes open to see his were now closed. He was pinching the bridge of his nose as if trying to concentrate.

“That’s why father let you sit at the table. That’s why I dressed you like a free man. I was going to declare your freedom as my first act of adulthood. Now that first act was to butcher you.”

“If you were setting me free then why did you send a party after me?”

“Because you weren’t supposed to leave! I was going to set you free and you were supposed to stay in the palace with me. I didn’t think you liked to be away from me. I never thought you would run away.”

His clear blue eyes opened and stared into mine. He didn’t make any sense. The point of freedom is being free to do as you please.

“So you won’t free me now.” I stated.

“No. I can’t trust you to stay here.”

“I’ll just be sent away when you marry. I’ll be gone then.”

“You’ll still be in the palace.”

“So that’s it then? I’m to stay here forever?”

“Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted? What have I done to make you so angry, Hazza?” he softly caressed the cheek he’d just slapped.

I pulled away from his touch. This only enraged him again.

“You are still my playmate and you will act like it!” he said grabbing my chin, “Do not think any of the things expected of you have changed!”

I closed my eyes again as I let him caress my face. Tears streamed from my eyes and I let him wipe them away. For the first time, I felt disgusted by his touch. It took me a few moments but I was finally able to whisper, voice cracking,

“As you wish.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE HARRY GETS RAPED IN THIS CHAPTER AND DOES NOT HAVE A HAPPY CHRISTMAS.**

Louis slept with me that night. He didn’t attempt to pull me into him like he usually does and I was thankful for that. My back still felt raw from the whip and I was almost certain some of the gashes were still trickling blood.

The next morning I was awoken by Louis shifting next to me. I turned my head to look at him. He was still asleep, but slowly waking. I felt my anger at him dissipating, but then I shifted and searing pain shot through my back. All my anger washed over me again. He’s only been using me. He doesn’t love me.

When his eyes fluttered open they found mine. A smile graced his face and he leaned over to me. He pecked my lips and I made no movement to return the gesture. He didn’t seem to mind though.

“Good morning Hazza.” He told me and began sitting up.

I only laid there, wishing only to stay in bed all day and hopefully starve to death. After a few moments of silence Louis sighed.

“Happy Christmas.”

I still said nothing. I stared off into the wall on the other side of the room.

“So this is the game you wish to play?” he asked, an annoyed edge to his tone.

When I continued to stay silent he spoke harshly, “I command you to speak to me.”

“Good morning Your Highness. Happy Christmas.” I said, not looking at him.

I felt like Louis was about to speak again when the door opened and the little twin princess’ stepped into the room followed by their nannies.

“Happy Christmas Louis!” They both shouted running toward him.

They jumped onto the bed with us and I felt Louis grab one of them up before they could reach me.

“What happened to Harry?” I heard Phoebe ask concerned.

“It doesn’t matter, Love. Just don’t touch him, he’s in a lot of pain.” Louis responded gently.

“Will he be coming down to open presents?” Daisy asked.

“No, I don’t believe he’s ready to get up yet.” Louis told them, and I was thankful I wouldn’t have to endure that.

The thought of a shirt on my wounds was an unpleasant one, and I honestly don’t think I’d have the strength to stay awake and attentive for so long.

“But it’s Christmas! He can’t be alone on Christmas!” Phoebe shouted.

“He won’t be alone Doll, I’m staying with him.” Louis told her gently.

“What about your presents?”

“They’ll be there when Harry gets better.”

I heard both girls sigh but Louis only chuckled at them.

“Scurry along, you’ll be late for breakfast.” He told them gently.

They didn’t give up a fight. I heard them all exchange kisses before the bed shifted and they were out the door. Louis then pulled the covers back and stepped out. He was completely naked, but didn’t seem to mind it. He walked over to the door and opened it a crack.

“Have mine and Harry’s meals brought to us in bed today, and tell the King and Queen I won’t be joining them for any festivities.” He spoke to whoever was on the other side of the door.

Seconds later he was walking back to me and curling into bed beside me. He ran a hand through my curls and toyed with them a little. Neither of us spoke as he entertained himself with my hair.

What felt like an eternity later, there was a knock on the door and a distinct Irish accent spoke, “Food cart.”

It was Niall. He was the kitchen boy again. So he hadn’t made it either.

Louis called for him to enter and when Niall pushed the door open, I gasped. The left side of his face was bruised and swollen. Nasty cuts covered what I could see of his body and he was limping as he pushed the cart fully into the room.

“Kitchen Boy, I hardly recognize you.” Louis taunted him.

I stared right at Niall’s face. That giant bruise and those cuts and scrapes were not from lashings. He’d been beaten along with his punishment. How had I ended up so lucky?

Niall pushed the cart next to the bed and stepped away.

“Can I get you anything else, your Highness?” He asked.

“No, that’ll be all until lunch.” Louis dismissed him.

Niall nodded and turned to walk out. He hadn’t even glanced at me. As he walked I saw red spots on the back of his shirt. He was bleeding. He still had to work though.

After Niall was gone Louis picked up a glass of milk from the cart.

“You’re very lucky Hazza.” He took a sip from the glass, “You were spared further punishment because I was the one in charge of administering it. Father is much more violent with runaways.”

“You spared my face but gave me more lashings.” I spoke, angry that he had taunted Niall and was now acting as if him whipping me was a good thing.

“You made me angry.” He sat the glass down again, “I’m not proud of what I’ve done to you.”

Now he stroked my shoulder. His fingers were ghosting over the skin. There was still no apology. He didn’t even sound like he regretted anything.

I moved my eyes down to stare at the cover. His fingers moved across my shoulder to my neck gently pressing on the love bite he’d given me yesterday. 

“How long had you been planning to leave me?” he whispered and I could hear pain in his words.

I had to tell him the truth. I was so angry at him, but despite that, I still loved him. I couldn’t lie.

“Since yesterday morning.” I mumbled.

I could practically hear the wheels turning in his mind as he put the pieces together.

“Is that why you were upset?” he questioned.

“I’m tired. I wish to sleep.” I stated, not wanting to talk anymore.

If I kept talking to him I’d surely forgive him, and I couldn’t let that happen. I refused to let him do this to me again. 

“You should eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“I don’t care. Push yourself up a little.” He commanded me, grabbing a pillow.

I did as I was told and felt Louis stuff the pillow under my chest, raising my head up. He then grabbed a fork from the cart and picked up a piece of scrambled eggs. When he tried to put it in my mouth I closed it.

“I don’t like eggs.” I whispered.

“That’s half of your breakfast. What do you do when you’re served eggs normally?” he questioned me.

That was a simple answer, and it happened often. After all, the head cook hated me, and he cooked my least favorite foods too often for it to be merely coincidence.

“I don’t eat them.”

“Then what do you like?”

“Nothing. I’m not hungry.” I turned my head so it was hanging straight down.

He sighed angrily at me.

“I’m not going to sit here and help you if you’re going to behave like this!” He yelled, temper completely gone.

“Then leave. I wish to sleep.” I spoke softly.

“I’ve got half a mind to give you another lashing. You obviously didn’t learn anything from the one you received last night.” He stood from the bed then. 

I suddenly became terrified that he was going to whip me again. I hadn’t thought about that.

“Please no!” I shouted.

I tried to see him but he was gone from my vision. I could hear his footsteps at the end of the bed. Suddenly the covers were pulled back, leaving my naked body exposed and cold.

“Now you speak openly to me? When you fear punishment? Well Hazza, I think you need to be reminded who rules this bed chamber.” He growled as he climbed onto the bed behind me.

I knew what he was doing the moment his hands started to caress my buttocks. He was going to bed me, right here while I lay broken and unable to fight.

He started to push my legs apart and I spread them wider. There was no fighting this. It was my place. This was my purpose here in the palace.

“Good boy.” He commented, patting my bum lightly.

I closed my eyes and wished it all to be over with. I was suddenly taken back to my first experiences in bed with Louis. I’d had to be tied down the first few times because I was so scared. That was a long time ago though. Back then Louis would last hardly anytime at all, now he could continue forever, it seemed, especially when he was angry.

He pushed in his erection very slowly. Almost immediately he brushed against that spot inside me that made me feel heavenly. I bit my tongue though. He wouldn’t get the satisfaction.

“Oh Hazza. You’re always so warm.” He groaned as he pulled out and pushed in again.

He hit that spot again and my back arched involuntarily. He then ran his hands up my sides, something that always drove me crazy.

“Moan for me.” He whispered, suddenly right beside me ear.

I continued to bite my tongue though. He would not hear me. I wouldn’t let him have that.

He pulled out and thrust in again harder, hitting my spot. It was so unexpected that a whine escaped my throat. He chuckled and I felt his breath on the side of my face.

All the pain in my back was gone. All I could feel was Louis’ penis sliding in and out of me making me feel complete bliss. It didn’t matter how angry I was at him, my body didn’t care.

“Come on Haz. I know what you like. Moan for me.” He whispered huskily in my ear.

His lips were brushing my ear as he spoke. His hands were at my sides as he gently slid in and out. If I wasn’t fighting to stay angry at him I’d be enjoying this. Louis rarely ever behaved this way in bed. He usually preferred it to be hard and rough.

When I didn’t do as he asked this time he pulled almost completely out and slammed in again, avoiding my pleasurable spot and causing only pain.

“Do as I say!” he spoke harshly in my ear, all tenderness it held previously was gone.

Louis didn’t like it when you didn’t give him what he wanted. I let out a gasp at his drastic mood change. He slammed into me again and I knew it was futile to refuse him.

I let out a strangled moan, trying to make it sound pleasurable. When Louis pushed in again, he brushed against that little gateway to heaven inside me and I let my moan burst from my mouth. Louis always gets what he wants.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **EXTREME LACK OF SELF WORTH ON HARRY'S PART. HE IS ALSO A SLAVE**

By lunch time I was no longer speaking to Louis other than one word responses. I had to give him my body, but that was it. He’d managed to take my heart in the past eight years and I needed to get it back.

Niall delivered lunch to us and still didn’t even look at me. Not even a glance in my direction. I was becoming worried. What threat was being held over him? He didn’t mutter under his breath the way he usually does when interacting with Louis and his free spirited demeanor was completely gone.

Louis dismissed him quickly and began eating. He hadn’t eaten breakfast and apparently it was taking a toll on him. After a few bites though, he lowered the fork to my lips. I took it without a fight. We ate in silence, and I could help but realize that this was the first time he’d ever taken care of me. Usually I was the one taking care of him when he didn’t feel well. I was told to stay away from him if I was ill, as to not infect the prince.

When we had eaten that entire plate and half of another, Louis attempted to make conversation again.

“I would never whip you if I didn’t have to Hazza.” He whispered.

If the room hadn’t been silent I wouldn’t have heard it. He sounded regretful this time but there was still no apology. I thought bitterly in my mind that if he ever admitted defeat and apologized I’d forgive him everything. It wouldn’t happen though. He does not admit that he is in the wrong. He’s been taught not to.

I stayed silent again and again he became angry.

“What do you want from me? What’s done is done. You should not have run. You’d be a free man sitting in the parlor with me as we opened presents and drank tea. But then you wouldn’t, would you? You’d be long gone by now had I released you to do so.” He spat the last sentences bitterly.

“I’d be halfway to Ireland if you’d just let me go.” I mumbled, half hoping he wouldn’t hear.

He did though.

“And what awaits you in Ireland?! What would’ve happened had you escaped England and made it to the fabulous land of gold and leprechauns?! Do you think Niall Horan would’ve protected you?! Do you think you would’ve escaped my realm of power? I, the Crown Prince, have been running Ireland for three years past, Haz! I am above the king of Ireland! Had you shown up at the palace doors you would’ve been beaten, raped, and bludgeoned the entire trip back to me! You’re lucky you were caught last night. You didn’t have a long trip back with a bounty hunter. Kitchen Boy was not so lucky.” He spoke to me as he usually speaks to his maids.

So I wouldn’t have gotten freedom in Ireland, I would’ve gotten a worse punishment. I was slightly relieved by this information but also hurt. I had no escape. Ireland was my only plan, and it couldn’t give me what I sought.

I turned my head away from him then. I didn’t even want to look at him. It felt like he was trapping me. There was no getting away from my fate. I’d live out the rest of my days in the palace, watching my only love grow old and raise a family with a woman.

“You exhaust me today Harry. In all our years, you’ve never behaved so disappointingly.” He sighed.

I felt the bed shift and thought that the same fate awaited me as earlier, but he moved to his chest of drawers and started shuffling about. Minutes later he leaned over the side of the bed and pecked my temple from behind me.

“I’ll be back to feed you dinner.” Then he left.

As soon as I heard the door clank shut I let a sob go from my throat. Instantly tears flew freely down my cheeks. Everything hurt, my body, my head, my heart. Everything just felt raw and abused.

I sobbed so hard my body shook and I could feel my back start to bleed again. I was still lying, naked, on my stomach, and felt more vulnerable now than when Louis had had his way with me. I felt powerless to control the pure anguish that seemed to be leaking from my body.

I hated myself for what I was doing to him. He was in pain, and I was causing it. What kind of a playmate am I? I can’t even make my boy happy. He’s disgusted with me now, any chance I had of him returning my feelings was now impossible. I’ve misbehaved, and if there’s one thing Louis can’t stand, it’s a servant misbehaving.

I cried for hours. I was still crying when Niall delivered dinner. Once again he didn’t glance at me, or even acknowledge my existence. He pushed the cart into the room, retrieved the cart from lunch and left. I couldn’t stop my tears long enough to call out to him.

Louis entered the bed chamber only minutes after dinner was delivered. At the sight of him my resolve melted away. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t be mad at him. He was right, I shouldn’t have run. I got what I deserved last night. In truth, I should’ve been punished further. I called him by his name, not title, in front of all those guests. If I was any other slave I’d have lost my tongue for that.

Louis walked to the bed and laid down next to me. He ran a hand through my curls, a gesture that has always comforted me, and hummed lightly.

He knew how to make me feel better. He was the only person in my life that has ever wanted me to feel better, and I’m hurting him. I disappointed him.

“I-I’m s-s-so s-so-sor-sorry.” I choked out.

Louis ‘shhhhh-ed’ me and continued playing with my hair. When I tried again a sob broke out and I started shaking again.

“I know you’re sorry, Hazza. I forgive you.” He whispered, pulling me closer.

I cuddled into him, not caring about the pain in my back. I deserved it.

“I d-don’t want y-y-you to be upset w-with me.” I cried into his chest.

He kissed my curls and gave me a light squeeze.

“I’m not upset with you anymore. I forgive you.” He repeated.

I let out a shaky sigh then. He still wanted me around. He wasn’t getting rid of me just yet.

“You must be hungry from crying. Let’s eat.” He said softly but I didn’t let go.

Instead I pulled my lips to meet his in the first real kiss we’ve had since yesterday afternoon. He didn’t pull away from me, but took control. His tongue slid past my waiting lips to explore every crevice of my mouth. He put his hand behind my head, pulling us closer. My hands found their way to the bottom of his shirt and pushed up against his defined muscles. I moaned at the feel of them.

That’s when Louis pulled away and I had no choice but to remove my hands. He only smirked at me.

“I haven’t seen you this eager since our adolescence.” He teased and I blushed.

Back when my body began to change and my voice dropped I had craved Louis’ touch like I hungered for food. He was always more than obliged to comply with my needs. I believe that was when I really started to fall for him.

“I just want to please you Louis. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” I told him and he smiled.

“You always please me.” He responded.

“Let me please you again. I’ll make up for my misbehaving.” I pleaded with him.

“You’re hurt.”

“I don’t need my back to pleasure you.” I reasoned, but he would have none of it.

“You’ll hurt yourself for no reason. Sit still and let me feed you. That is what will please me.” He told me as he grabbed a plate from the cart.

He helped me sit up for the first time and pulled me to rest on his chest. I feared I’d get blood on him but he paid no mind to it. He sat and feed me, though I was able now to do so myself. We shared a bites of dinner and tender kisses until we’d had our full.

He undressed and curled me into his side for the night then. I was so exhausted I didn’t fight the sleep. Right before I drifted off though I felt him kiss my temple and whisper,

“Happy Christmas, Harry.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **MENTIONS OF RAPE. MORE LACK OF SELF WORTH. HARRY IS STILL A SLAVE.**

For the next three days Louis and I stayed locked in his room. On the fourth day though, Gemma came to the door saying that his majesty the king would not allow Louis or I to do nothing any longer. We were expected to attend meals, if nothing else. 

My back was much better. I was able to move around without a lot of pain but I was pretty sure it was covered in bruises.

Louis didn’t fight the command. He helped me get dressed, he’d gotten my clothes moved back into his room, and slowly walked me down to the servants’ dining room. He didn’t enter the room like the last morning I ate here. Instead he kissed my forehead and said to go back to his bed chamber when I was done eating.

I nodded to him and watched him walk away. There were shouts coming from inside and I suddenly got the urge to just walk back to Louis’ bed and not eat. A growl from my stomach stopped me though. If Louis heard my stomach grumbling he’d suspect something. I had to eat something.

I pushed the door open and when I did silence engulfed the room. Everyone stared at me as I walked to my table and sat beside Gemma. When, still, no one spoke, Gemma broke the tense silence.

“Good Morning Harry.” She greeted me with a smile.

“Good morning.” I replied, looking around just waiting for the heckling to start.

Everyone continued to stare at me silently. It was unnerving. When the food was brought out by the kitchen staff everyone turned away from me but stayed silent.

“How are you feeling?” Gemma asked me once everyone began eating.

“I’m feeling well.” I flashed her a smile I hoped she thought was real.

She didn’t seem to notice it was fake so I turned back to face my plate. I usually waited until everyone was finished filling their plates before I attempted to fix my own. This morning though, I was handed a bowl of strawberries by the man sitting next to me when he was finished.

I took the bowl and looked up at him. It was the man who I had threatened my last morning here, the man who gave Louis the whip. His eyes were still sad when they met mine. I thanked him and took the bowl.

This same thing happened four more times as we ate. Each time he looked sadder than the last. I was becoming even more uncomfortable now. What had I done now? Everyone was sneaking glances at me and no one was speaking. My uneasiness soon became annoyance and then quickly morphed into anger.

“Why do you keep looking at me like I’m infected with the plague?!” I shouted at him when I noticed him staring once again.

“I…” he trailed off and looked around the table.

My outburst had everyone staring together again. I felt like a side show attraction, trapped in a cage. The man finally looked back to me.

“I’m sorry for what I said to you. I had no idea what you go through.” He told me and I squinted in confusion.

“What do you mean?” I questioned.

“It doesn’t matter, let’s just eat.” Gemma spoke then.

The man ignored her.

“The way you’re treated. I thought you were treated like royalty. I shouldn’t have judged you. I had no idea what Crown Prince does to you.” He rambled and I froze.

What was he talking about? What Louis does to me? What does that mean?

He must have seen my confusion because he continued. By now the entire room was listening.

“Gemma heard through the servants’ door Christmas morning what he did to you. She heard you cry out and him yell. I always thought you liked to share a bed with his highness. And the way he beat you the night of the ball. I’ve never seen anyone look so angry while giving lashes.”

I turned on Gemma then. She had heard everything. I looked around the room, they all stared. I felt suffocated by all the sad gazes. They all knew, but they were wrong. That was the only time he’d ever hurt me in such a way.

“You should stop this gossip. Louis treats me well.” I spoke back.

Gemma rested her hand on mine on the table. I looked back to her and she smiled sadly.

“You don’t have to lie to us Harry. We’ve all felt his wrath, we just assumed you hadn’t.” she explained.

“Louis cares for me. He loses his temper sometimes, but I deserve it. I acted out of my place that day.” I defended him.

I stood abruptly from the table then. I had to leave all these stares. They didn’t know my relationship with Louis.

“Is that why you chose to run rather than stay with him longer?” the maid, Caroline, spoke from the end of the table.

I turned to look at her. She wasn’t smirking like she had been the last time I sat at this table with her.

“I ran because I’m being taken away from him and I couldn’t bear the thought of being in this palace without him.”

“Harry, we…” Gemma began but I cut her off.

“Stop! You don’t know what you speak of! What goes on in that bed chamber is not a concern to any of you! You should learn to hold your tongue! Louis is a good man! He treats me well and I am lucky to be his playmate! Your tongue should be cut out for all the lies you’re spreading!” I shouted at her.

She made no motion to retaliate so I turned and left the room. I couldn’t handle these servants. One day they hated me and the next they pitied me. I wished they would just like me, or at least pretend to.

Louis was waiting for me in his bed chamber when I returned. He greeted me with a smile.

“How was your breakfast?” he asked and I smiled in response.

“It was wonderful.” I lied.

There was no point in getting Louis worked up over this. There was no telling what consequences Gemma would face, and I would never wish that upon anyone.

“Good.” Louis smiled and patted the bed beside him.

I quickly climbed in next to him and pressed myself to his side. His hands immediately went to my curls and I sighed contentedly.

“I can’t stay in bed all day with you today, Haz.” He murmured.

“Oh.”

“Princess Eleanor is arriving before lunch. Father wants me to give her a tour of the palace.”

“That sounds like fun.” I attempted to sound happy, but failed miserably.

Louis chuckled then.

“Hazza, do you not like Princess Eleanor?”

“I’m jealous of her. You’ll make a wonderful husband. Anyone would be lucky to wed you.”

He stayed silent for a few moments. The only sounds were our breathing.

“Have you ever thought of marriage?” he asked me.

I shook my head, “I’ve never thought of a time when I wasn’t your playmate.”

It was true. Ever since he’d brought me to the palace Louis had been in every thought that crossed my mind. I lived for him. The thought of marrying someone else was completely out of the question.

“I’ve never thought of it either. I used to imagine sitting on the throne with you sitting on the floor beside me like you would at dinner. I didn’t have a wife, I had my playmate.”

I felt my heart lift when he revealed this to me. He wanted me by his side, always. I pulled back to look into his eyes.

“I love you.” I told him.

He smiled then and brought our lips together to share a soft kiss.

When he pulled away I ran my hand over his chest.

“Louis?”

“Hmm?”

“What is going to happen to me when you get married?” I asked the question that had been plaguing my mind for days.

He sighed and pulled my in to lay my head on his chest.

“I will fight to make you a meal waiter.” He told me and kissed my head.

I could tell he was holding something back by his tone.

“What do you mean by, ‘I will fight’?”

“Father thinks you should continue on as you are, only as a courtesan, not a playmate.” Louis spoke softly and held me tightly to his chest.

My breath hitched in my throat. A courtesan? That would mean that probably anyone who came to the palace could have my body. Only Louis had ever touched my in such an intimate way and I didn’t want that to change.

“But don’t fret over it, Love. I’ll convince him otherwise before the wedding.”

“Yes,” I thought bitterly, “like you were able to convince him I should continue sitting with you at meals, and the way you made sure I would not move into my own bed chamber.”

Now even the small light I had seen in my future was stamped out. I would not only live the rest of my life watching Louis marry and raise a family, but I’d also be at the commanding hands of any noble man that entered the palace. 

With each passing day I only wished more and more that I hadn’t been chosen to be Louis’ playmate all those years ago. Maybe then I’d be a slave somewhere, working at a farm, or on a ship. Anywhere seemed better than this palace.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ELEANOR IS IN THIS CHAPTER. ELEANOR IS A CHARACTER THAT ACTUALLY HAS A PART AND SPEAKS IN THIS CHAPTER. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ANYTHING AND ARE STILL READING THIS STORY AFTER THE CHAPTER WITH THE RAPE THEN YOU SHOULD JUST STOP. IT'S GOING TO GET A LOT WORSE.**

Louis and I laid tangled in each other’s arms silently for a few minutes before he suddenly sat up.

“I’ve forgotten to give you your Christmas present!” he shouted suddenly and rolled out of the bed.

Louis has always gotten me a present. I usually got to open it while I sat at Louis’ feet on Christmas morning in the parlor with the rest of the royal family. This year though, things obviously didn’t go as planned. I was under the impression that the clothes Louis had gotten tailored for me was my Christmas present. Apparently not.

When Louis returned to the bed he was carrying a rectangular box wrapped in brown paper. He handed the package to me after he came to sit at my side once more. A message was written on the top in an elegant script. I looked up to Louis, waiting for him the translate it, but he only smiled.

“You can read it.” He encouraged me, and I looked back down to the paper.

Louis started teaching me to read about a year ago. He was tired of reading his books for his lessons and had insisted I read them to him. I then confessed that I’d never learned how. After that he’d been determined to teach me. I wasn’t a very fast learner though, and Louis had become frustrated with my lack of improvement. After only a few months the lessons stopped all together.

I stared at the first word, after a few seconds I started slowly reading aloud.

“Dear Harry;  
You pro-prob-ba-bly thought I had for-got-ten my pro-mise to teach you to read. I did not.  
Yours truly, Louis”

“Good job Haz! You read it without my help!” he pulled me in and kissed my temple.

I could only smile back. I read it all. The whole note, all by myself. I looked over the note again and smiled brighter.

“Open it now.” Louis seemed more excited than I was.

What could this possibly be? I began ripping the paper off and found it was a wooden box. I gently lifted the box open and nearly dropped it when I saw the contents.

It was a book. Blue covers were held together with black binding. I wanted to cry from joy. I’d always wanted to learn to read and to have my own book. Louis was giving me both.

“It’s the first book I ever read. It’s called Robinson Crusoe.” He told me.

I gently picked the book up and stared at it. It was thick, and no doubt had a lot of words I couldn’t read.

“But how can I read this myself?” I asked him.

“I’ll read it with you. We’ll read a chapter every day.”

I smiled brightly at this. He was going to teach me again.

As always though, a knock at the door ruined our moment. The knock was followed by a voice.

“Crowned Prince, Princess Eleanor has arrived and is waiting for you in the drawing room.” The manly voice called.

Louis sighed and pulled me in for another kiss.

“We’ll start tonight. Chapter one.” He promised then rolled off the bed once more.

He walked out the door and when I saw it close I brought the book to my chest, hugging it. I’d never treasured anything so much.

After sitting alone for about an hour with my new book I decided it would be in my best interest to stay as far away from Princess Eleanor as possible. I didn’t want to get to know her. She could be a lovely person, and it would be hard to hate her if I knew that. I decided I’d stay in Louis’ bed chamber while he was with her. Going to eat a meal with the servants was out of the question.

I thought that this plan would work out, but Louis managed to completely mess it up when he brought the princess back with him. I was half asleep, clutching my gift, still lying on the bed when they entered.

“This is my bed chamber,” Louis announced, “and that is my Harry.”

I shot up, startled by the sudden noise as a girlish giggle echoed through the room. I looked over and Louis was standing beside a girl with long, wavy, brunette hair. She was wearing a blue gown with a small golden tiara resting on her head. She was beautiful, and her giggle was adorable. I felt more hatred toward her.

“Hello Harry. Louis has been talking about you the entire tour.” She giggled in her French Accent, stepping into the room.

She sounded nice. Damn it.

“Greetings your highness.” I said back to her, looking down.

“Please Harry, call me Eleanor.” She smiled and extended her hand to me.

She was very nice. Nicer than I’d ever imagine her being.

I took her hand and kissed it, it was silky smooth. Her nails were neatly shaped and her fingers were long and slender. She was perfect.

“Well, this concludes the tour. You’ve seen it all.” Louis smiled to her.

He fancied her. I could see it in his smile. My heart broke a little more.

“It is so beautiful. I love it.” She gushed, stepping over to see out the window.

“I suppose that’s good. It will be your home in a few months time.”

She turned around to smile at him. A blush tinted her cheeks. She fancied him as well. Louis only smiled back at her. They were a good match as the king had predicted.

“I can’t wait.”

I hated her. Every ounce of my body wanted to pull out all her hair and pluck her eyes out then spit in her face. I’ve only ever seen that smile of Louis’ directed at me. Now she’s taking it. The filthy little wench.

“Oh! I haven’t shown you the back garden! All the plants are dead now because of winter, but it’s still a beautiful sight. Come now. We want to be back in time for lunch.”

She quickly walked by me and I saw a light reflected off her left hand. She stopped and waved goodbye to me.

“It was wonderful meeting you Harry.” She said warmly and I caught a glimpse of the shiny thing on her hand.

An engagement ring. It was Louis’ great-grandmother’s ring. A very large sapphire stone surrounded by diamonds. It was a priceless family heirloom, and one of the most beautiful royal jewels. I’d only seen it once, but that was enough to permanently engrave it in my memory.

Jealousy overtook me like a monster. The moment they left I stood from the bed and threw my book down. I couldn’t stay in this palace any longer. She was wearing his great-grandmother’s ring! I wanted to cry and scream and break things all at the same time. I was foolish to think his petty gift of a book to me meant anything. It was even more worthless compared to what he was giving her.

I started to leave, but then turned to look at the book that was now lying on the floor. I went back for it, not being able to bear the thought of leaving it behind. 

I walked straight down to the kitchen. I was leaving, and Niall was coming with me. I didn’t care what had happened to him to scare him so badly, but I knew we would make it out this time. We could head south. Surely we could reach a place out of England’s sphere of influence.

I walked into the kitchen and immediately started searching for the Irish prince. When I found him he was scrubbing a rather large black pot.

“Niall.” I called to him as I approached.

His head shot up to look at me. He looked terrified. The bruise on his face was much better than the last few days, but his strange behavior never changed.

“Leave me alone.” His voice shook as he dropped the pot into the sink and backed away from me.

“What do you mean?” I took a step toward him, which made him back up two steps.

“I can’t be seen with you. Please leave.” He begged.

“Why not? I thought we were mates, Niall.” I was more than a little hurt.

“They’re blaming me for our escape attempt. They said I can’t speak to you again. Harry, please understand…”

“I’m running again Niall. Right now, I’m leaving.” I cut him off.

He stared at me for a few moments before grabbing my arm and pulling me into a closet.

“Don’t do that.”

“Why not? She’s here Niall. Princess Eleanor is in the palace and I’ve met her. Louis fancies her! I can’t watch him fall in love with her. I can’t.”

“You can’t run either!” he whispered harshly, “If they catch you again…”

“They won’t. Louis is busy with Princess Eleanor, he won’t notice I’m gone.”

“That’s what we thought the night of the party. Head hunters weren’t sent after us because they noticed me missing, Harry. Louis has a close eye on you, and it’s likely to be much worse now that you’ve already attempted to run.”

“I don’t care. Maybe this time they’ll kill me before I’m brought back.” I muttered bitterly and Niall grabbed the sides of my head forcing me to look at him.

“They won’t kill you Harry. They’ll make you wish you were dead, but they won’t kill you.” He shuddered as if imagining something terrible.

Curiosity struck me and before I could think better of it, I was asking him.

“What happened to you Niall? What did they do to make you this afraid?”

He looked as if he was debating something in his mind. Finally he took a deep breath and sat on the floor. I mirrored his actions.

“I’m sorry I left you behind.” He started, looking down.

“No, I didn’t want you to wait for me. You’ve nothing to apologize for.” I told him and he nodded.

He seemed relieved, as if he thought I was angry at him before. He took another deep breath and closed his eyes. I watched his face scrunch up like he was picturing everything that had happened.

Finally he opened his eyes again and stared at me. He looked so broken that it hurt me.

“Alright, I’ll tell you.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **MORE MENTIONS OF RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LIED IN THE TAGS, THERE ARE ACTUALLY THREE RAPES IN THIS STORY. I'M SORRY. FOR REAL THOUGH, THERE IS RAPE IN THIS CHAPTER.**

“I rode for about an hour after they caught you. I ran over a wet spot in the road that froze in the night. The horse fell and couldn’t get back up, so I left it. I ran into the woods, thinking they’d lose my trail but they were closer than I thought. They must have seen me run into the trees because they all rode right in after me. They caught me in seconds and started beating me.” He took a deep breath then.

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me the details.” I spoke reaching a hand out to rest on his knee.

He nodded and smiled slightly, relieved, “They dragged me out of the woods to the horse. I had broken its leg. They said I’d have to pay for that and started to push me around. They knocked me to the ground then and that’s when…” he broke off and shuddered, “they…they raped me.”

I gasped and pulled back. Niall had been raped? How could that even be possible? Niall is a prince! How could this have been allowed?

“All four of them took turns.” He was crying now and speaking quickly before letting out a sob.

I crawled to him then and pulled him into my chest. He didn’t deserve this. No one deserved that.

I was sent back to the first time Louis and I had been intimate. One of the king’s men was called to make sure everything went smoothly. It didn’t at all.

 

I stood silently as Louis kissed me sloppily. We’d always kissed, but never like this. Ever since he turned 13 five months ago we’d been snogging, but this time was different. His hands were all over me and he was pressing his body to mine. I felt a bulge from his crotch press into my leg. He made a deep growl sound and pushed it against me harder.

I pulled away then, though I was never supposed to. He stared at me angrily. It was the first time I’d ever received that look.

“What are you doing?” he snarled and I felt tears prick my eyes.

“I-I don’t un-under-stand.” I choked out in my scared 11 year old voice.

His face softened then and he pulled me into his arms. He had grown to a few inches taller than I in the past few months. I felt safe and protected in his arms.

“It’s okay Hazza. This is why I have you. This is the reason I got a boy.” He whispered to me.

I sniffled a little and rubbed my eyes clean of tears. Louis pulled away from me then and started to take my clothes off.

I let him strip me naked and obediently listened when he told me to get on the bed and lie on my stomach. I heard shuffling as he undressed and climbed onto the giant bed with me.

It was after he’d settled behind me and spread my legs that I began to feel uncomfortable once again. Then he attempted to push into my virgin hole. That’s when I began thrashing about and trying to get as far away from him as possible.

“Please stop! Please, please stop!” I screamed, crawling away from him and curling into a ball at the head of his bed.

He was glaring at me now. His penis was standing upright between his legs and his face showed annoyance.

“Get back here.” He commanded.

For the first time ever, I shook my head at him. This made him even angrier.

“He’s not listening to me!” Louis shouted into the room.

Confusion overtook me. Who was he yelling to? But I didn’t have to wonder for long. The door to Louis’ bed chamber opened and a husky man entered. He was holding rope in his hands as he stared me down.

“Looks like we’ll have to do this the hard way.” He smirked once he’d reached the bed.

I curled in on myself, scared of this strange man and what Louis was attempting to do to me. 

The man grabbed my arm and yanked a rope around my wrist. He then pulled me over and tied it to one of the bed posts. When he pulled it tight enough he moved on to my other arm. I tried to pull my arm from him but the man was much stronger than I. He slapped the back of my head and pulled harder on my arms.

When he finally finished securing all my limbs I was pulled so tightly across the bed I couldn’t even move. I was silently sobbing, scared of what might happen.

The man left and Louis crawled on top of me. He kissed my shoulder and pressed himself onto me. I felt his penis on my buttocks, but at least it wasn’t trying to enter me.

“Relax Hazza. This will be fun.” Louis whispered.

He thrust his hips forward a little and hissed in pleasure.

“Doesn’t that feel so good?” he started kissing more on my shoulders.

I wanted to say no, but the last time I’d done that it hadn’t exactly worked in my favor. Instead I stayed silent.

He sat up then and scooted off of me. He pulled my butt cheeks apart and ran a finger up my crack. I tried to pull away from him, I didn’t like being touched in this way, but I couldn’t move.

He pulled his finger away and I felt the tip of his penis. He was trying to press it into me. I squeezed as tightly as I could in an attempt to stop him, but it did nothing.

He pushed in quickly and a scream ripped from my throat. It felt like he had just ripped my body in two. I let out a strangled sob and then he started to pull out. I thought that it was over until he thrust into me again.

Another scream echoed around the room and tears poured from my eyes.

“Hazza, please stop. It’s okay. You’re okay.” Louis told me in a worried voice but I couldn’t process his words.

It hurt so bad. I just wanted him to stop.

He pulled out again and pushed back in. That’s when he cried out in pleasure. I felt something start to fill inside me and I cringed. Louis quickly collapsed on top of me panting heavily.

When he finally pulled out of me completely I still felt full of this liquid he had released inside of me. I could feel it leaking from me as I lay, still unable to move.

“Harry,” Louis spoke quietly now.

I couldn’t stop the tears that flowed freely from my eyes. I still hurt so badly.

“Harry, tell me that you love me.” He whispered.

Not wanting to upset him anymore, I managed to choke out, “I love you, Louis.”

 

I’m not sure why he asked that of me, but I’d been saying it ever since, and eventually, about two years later, it became true. Louis never returned the sentiment though. Boys don’t love their playmates.

“I’m so sorry Niall. I… you didn’t deserve that.” I spoke quietly.

I wiped some of his tears away and kissed his forehead.

Of course this was when the door to the storage room opened and the head cook saw us. I gasped and shot away from Niall, knowing immediately how it looked. The head cook only smirked.

“Come on, Niall. You’ve got work to do. Don’t worry I’ll take the playmate with me.” The man snarled at me.

“No, no it isn’t what it looks like.” I rambled when the man grabbed my arm and pulled me up.

I dropped my book in the process and couldn’t pick it up though I desperately tried.

“I’ll not have you abusing my kitchen staff! I’m taking you to the king!”

And he did. He dragged me all the way to the King’s office. He knocked on the doors, said his name and almost immediately a ‘come in’ greeted us.

When the doors were opened I saw Louis was seated next to his father at the desk. Eleanor was standing at a window looking out, but all eyes went to me when I entered the room.

“What’s going on?” Louis spoke first.

“I found him and the young Irish Prince in the kitchen storage room together. He was crying while this one kissed his head.” The man stated.

“It wasn’t what it looked like! I’d never…”

“Silence Boy!” the king commanded and my head dropped, “Take him to the courtesan chamber. Have him chained to one of the beds.”

My eyes widened at his dismissive tone. It was as if what he’d just sentenced me to didn’t make the world around me shatter. I stood, shocked. So this was it then?

“No, he’s my charge, Father. I decide his punishment.” Louis spoke now.

“Then what do you suggest Louis?”

“Have him chained to my bed until after lunch. I’ll find his collar and attach him to me then.” Louis commanded.

I hated the collar. I’d been forced to wear it my first year in the palace. It was so I couldn’t leave Louis’ side. I was always attached to a leash. It made me feel like an animal.

Zayn still wore his collar, but Liam no longer attached a leash to it.

I didn’t fight the order though, it was much better than the alternative. I obediently walked to Louis bed chamber and let myself be chained to his post.

Right after lunch, Louis stormed through the door. I flinched at the loud noise of the door.

“I don’t understand Hazza! What has gotten into you?! Are you in love with the kitchen boy?! Is that why you were running away with him?! Am I not good enough for you anymore?!” he screamed at me and I stared at his feet.

“Answer me!!!”

“I’m not in love with Niall.” I mumbled.

“Then what is it? Why don’t you love me anymore?” he let out a deep breath.

“I do love you Louis. I love you more than anything.”

“Then why are you doing this to me?” he begged for an answer, but I was scared to give him the truth.

“Please, Harry. I have to know why you’re putting me through this.”

“Becauseyoudon’tloveme.” I mumbled very quickly under my breath.

“What did you say?”

I took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“I’m trying to get away because I know you don’t love me the way I love you. I don’t want to watch you love someone else.” I whispered, still staring down.

“You’re only my playmate, Harry. I must marry Eleanor.” He said, as if that fixed anything.

“I know.”

He shook his head and walked over to his chest of drawers. He opened the bottom drawer and collected a few items. He walked back over and placed them on the bed.

The first item was my collar. It was a royal purple, signifying I was property of the crowned prince. Louis fastened it around my neck. It actually fit surprisingly well for something I hadn’t worn in years. He placed the little lock on it and put the key on his bedside table.

Next he attached a leather strap to the bed post. That would be what I was connected to while I was in Louis’ bed. He hooked it to my collar and locked it. He pulled a key from his pocket then and undid my chain binding. The strap would let me move anywhere on the bed, but not much further.

The last item was my leash. It was another leather strap, but it had a loop on the end that could slip around Louis’ wrist.

“You’re lucky, you know. You could be chained to another bed right now.” Louis stated, as if I hadn’t been in the room with he and king earlier.

“I know. How can I thank you for saving me?” I whispered.

He grabbed my chin and pulled my face up to match his gaze. His eyes looked black from lust.

“You’ve always looked good in a collar.” He mumbled before crashing our lips together passionately.

I responded immediately, opening my mouth for his tongue to enter. He pressed further into me, deepening the kiss. I felt his hands slide up my shirt and start to push me back. I obliged and laid back on the bed as he straddled me and rubbed our clothed erections together.

A moan escaped my lips and he smirked. He began undoing the buttons of my shirt quickly and managed to get them all undone instead of ripping them off. After my shirt was off he removed his own and pressed against me.

He began kissing down my neck and along my jaw. He would occasionally bite down leaving tiny love bites as a trail. When he reached my collarbone though, he pulled away.

He pulled my trousers down quickly, freeing me from the constricting fabric. Next he weaseled from his own trousers and was pressed against me again.

“Mmmm! Louis!” I moaned out, wanting more.

I saw his smirk and moaned again, louder. Louis likes it when I’m loud.

“What do you want Harry?” he teased.

So he was in a teasing mood now. That’s always the most frustrating.

“Please Louis!” I shouted/ groaned as I arched into him.

This made him pull away from me completely, just hovering above me.

“Tell me what you want.” His devilish smirk played on his lips.

“Take me. Please take me Louis!”

His smirk grew now but he pressed himself down onto me, making me scream his name in pleasure. I heard him chuckle as he grinded his hips into mine.

“Louis!” I grunted as I felt him grind again.

When he pulled away I whined in protest but he silenced me.

“Lean over head of the bed.” He told me and I did as I was told, now eager and willing.

I looked down to see my pillow beneath my erection but was too turned on to care. I felt Louis shift behind me and press against my back.

“I feel it’s been so long since we’ve done this properly.” Louis whispered huskily into my ear sending shivers running through me.

He began swaying his hips, my following suit. He reached his hands around my chest to tweak my nipples. I laid my head back on his shoulder and moaned long and deep. He abused them for only a little while longer before running his hands down the front of my body.

They came to rest on the inside of my thighs only centimeters from my aching erection. His hands began pulling my legs further apart and I spread them more. Still though, he pulled more, massaging that muscle.

“You’re so hot when you’re like this. Begging for my penis, just spread you legs a little further, Love. Let’s see how far you can go.” He whispered, licking my ear in the process.

I spread my legs more and ignored the pain. I could feel the blanket was very close to my erection. I’d gotten pretty far down.

“Now lean forward.” Louis commanded and I did so.

I felt the head of his penis at the entrance to my hole. I pressed back, hoping to get more, but I only earned a smack on the bum.

After listening to my begging and moaning for a little while longer he thrust completely into me. A familiar mix of pain and pleasure overtook me and I moaned his name.

“Oh Hazza.” He moaned, now fully engulfed in my heat.

He pulled out and thrust back in, hitting that heavenly spot, making my body spasm in pleasure. I screamed out, throwing my head back and squeezing the head board for balance. If only the servants could see me now.

He started to slowly work up a rhythm. All that could be heard was the slapping of skin and our grunts and moans. My legs were relaxing into their position, so I couldn’t even feel the pain of having them spread so far apart.

I was the first the ejaculate. It streamed thick and hot all over the head board and the pillows beneath me. Only seconds after me, Louis released inside my abused hole.

He rode out his orgasm before finally slowing to a stop. He gently pulled out and I winced. I felt empty without his member deep inside me.

Louis helped me to lie down on the bed. Suddenly everything ached again. I could already tell I’d pulled muscles in my legs and my lower back hurt from the pounding I’d just received. Louis was gentle now though. He pulled me into him and began massaging my buttocks as I drifted off to sleep.

Before I was completely gone though I managed to peck a kiss onto Louis’ chest and whisper,

“I love you, Louis.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **DEATH!!!!!! IT'S A MINOR CHARACTER BUT DON'T WORRY, THE MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH IS COMING UP. SOMEONE ACTUALLY DIES IN THIS CHAPTER.**

Through the rest of winter I stayed permanently fastened to Louis’ side. I was able to eat meals with him again, and sleep in the same bed. It was supposed to be a punishment, but I didn’t see it that way at all. It was only when Louis would attend to wedding details that I wanted as far away as possible.

Eleanor was absolutely charming in every way. Louis adored her. The young princess’ adored her. Even the King and Queen loved Louis’ French Fiancé. I found that even though I desperately tried, it was just as I had predicted, I could not dislike her. She was the perfect wife for Louis and would make the perfect Queen of England.

Louis and I had finished Robinson Crusoe. I’d managed to read every page, with his help of course. We had even begun choosing books from the library to read at night. I was learning quickly now and with each book read, my love of reading only increased. Louis only laughed at this, though he never refused taking me to the library or staying up a little late to read with me.

Although in some ways Louis and I were closer than ever, mostly we’ve just gotten further and further apart. We don’t share sweet kisses in bed every night as we drift off to sleep. We hardly ever just cuddled together anymore. Louis was spending an increasingly amount of time talking of Eleanor. 

It was currently the beginning of March, exactly one month from Louis’ set wedding day. With each approaching day I felt Louis and I grow more and more distant. Every time I thought about it, it hurt, but I knew it needed to be done, and he wasn’t fighting it at all. There was a courtesan bed with my name on it awaiting the moment Louis and Eleanor say ‘I do’.

Lord Payne, Liam, and Zayn were currently staying at the palace. It was the first time I’d seen them since the tragedy at Louis’ party. I was excited at the prospect of being able to talk openly with someone again.

Niall and I no longer saw one another. Louis made extra careful of that. And with Louis always being with me, I couldn’t exactly vent my frustrations and fears for the future.

When we entered the dining hall Liam sat in his normal place and Zayn sat on the floor next to him. My pillow had been restored to me and now awaited next to Louis’ chair. We took our places at the table as the meal was served and Zayn leaned over to me.

“Was this your punishment?” he asked quietly.

I only nodded, not wanting to go into exact details on the situation. 

“You’ve gotten your pillow back I see. No more meals at the servants’ table?” he smiled.

“Not until he’s married.”

Zayn was about to say something else when a loud string of coughs echoed through the hall. Louis stood from his chair then, as did Liam and Lord Payne.

“Father, are you alright?” Charlotte’s small voice spoke once the coughing stopped.

There was more coughing sounds and then a loud thud. All the women screamed as waiters rushed into the room. Louis ran around the table to his father’s chair and I ducked my head under to see what had happened.

There lied King Mark Tomlinson motionless on the floor. His eyes were wide staring off into space. I saw Louis bend down to him and listen to his heart.

For a split second, Louis and my eyes met, but the moment didn’t last long. He stood then.

“I don’t hear a heartbeat! Father has been poisoned!”

The women screamed again and the queen fainted. Servants ran to her trying to wake her while everyone else stayed silent in shock.

“Bring me the head cook!” Louis shouted and two guards that usually stand at the door rushed toward the kitchen.

“What are you going to do, Louis?” Liam asked.

“I’m going to find the man that did this and kill him myself.” Louis growled just as the head cook was drug into the room.

He was thrown down in front of Louis. I attempted to stand but couldn’t, due to the leash being so short and attached to the arm of Louis’ chair. I kneeled and could see the top of the cook’s head.

“What did you put in my father’s plate!”

“N-Nothing your highness. The taste testers tried everything, just as they do every meal. They are still alive. I don’t know what happened.” The head cook explained, but Louis didn’t seem convinced.

“The King of England has just died eating food that came from your kitchen. Your head is on the chopping block unless we find the true murder.” Louis spoke low and threateningly at the man.

“I’m sorry your highness. I truly do know nothing.”

Charlotte and Felicite both burst into tears now and Louis stepped away from the cook. He looked at all of us then back to his father.

“All of you return to your bed chambers. It’s not safe here. Take this man to the dungeon, I’ll deal with him later.” Louis suddenly sounded extremely tired.

Everyone stood and began walking out the doors back to their respective bed chambers except I, who was still tied down. The head cook was dragged off and more guards had arrived.

“No one leaves the palace until this is resolved. Get a detective here at once. Two guards will stand post here until he arrives. No one touches anything. And call for the Pope. Father will need a proper blessing and burial.” Louis commanded and a few of the guards nodded and ran off.

I almost couldn’t believe that it was Louis standing in front of me. Almost. He walked over to me and untied the leash. Without even a word he walked me to his bed chamber, switched from the leash to the bed strap and crawled into bed.

I wasn’t sure what to do. He hadn’t said a word to me at all. I wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. In the past, I would just crawl to him and curl up next to him, but with our growing distance, I felt awkward just thinking about that.

While I was fighting over what I should do I heard a whimper from Louis. He was sitting at the head board, with his knees pulled into his chest staring at the opposite wall. His face was expressionless, so I considered that I hadn’t really heard anything, but then it happened again.

Within seconds, Louis’ emotionless face contorted into pain as a sob left his body. I’d only see Louis cry once, and it was because he was thrown from a horse at age twelve and broke his arm. Even then he hadn’t sobbed.

I threw all reservations out and crawled to him, hugging him to me. He willingly accepted my arms and curled into my chest. I petted his hair and rubbed his back as he sobbed. He cried for what felt like hours until the only noises left were little sniffles.

This is when he pulled back away from me and wiped his eyes. I only watched, still unsure of what to say. That was solved for me though, when Louis spoke.

“How can I be King?” he asked, his voice gravelly from crying.

“You’ll make a fine King, Louis.” I responded, wiping a stray tear.

“I’m not ready yet. I still have so much to learn.” He pleaded with me as if I could change his fate.

“You are ready. You’re a man now.” I told him gently.

“How can I be ready!?!?! I’m only eighteen!!! I’m barely a man! How can I run a country?!” he shouted suddenly and I flinched and looked down out of instinct.

“I didn’t mean to shout.” He whispered now.

It almost sounded like an apology. I pulled him closer to me and kissed his cheek.

“You’ll make a fine King.” I told him again.

This time he didn’t respond with words. Instead he leaned forward and kissed my aggressively. The kiss was needy and desperate. I felt his hands pull me towards him, pressing me against him fully.

“Hazza, I need you more than I need air.” He moaned into my lips.

I froze then. I couldn’t move. What did he just say? Did I hear that correctly? Not once has he ever alluded to needing me. Now this? 

Louis only kissed me harder when he realized I wasn’t kissing back. I couldn’t bring myself to. He suddenly pulled away then. Tears were in his eyes now.

“Please, Hazza. Please just kiss me. I- I just need you to kiss me.” Louis begged.

I’d never seen him like this. I gave him what he wanted. I kissed him back just as hard and just as desperately as he kissed me. That was all we did though. Just kiss. I can’t even remember the last time a snogging didn’t lead to more, but this time was different. This time he was in pain, and all I could do was kiss him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **HOMOPHOBIA! I REALLY HOPE YOU AREN'T TRIGGERED BY HOMOPHOBIA AND ARE THIS FAR INTO THIS STORY BECAUSE IF YOU ARE I'D SAY THAT'S SOME HINTS OF MASOCHISM YOU'VE GOT GOING ON. I MIGHT HAVE MISSED SOME HOMOPHOBIA REFERENCES IN EARLIER CHAPTERS BUT I DEFINITELY KNOW IT'S IN THIS ONE**

We stayed in bed, cuddled together until a voice at the door snapped us apart.

“The detective is finished.”

Louis sat up from the bed. He rubbed his eyes, in a sad attempt to clear his face of any traces of tears. His eyes were still red and swollen but he now had a determined look on his face. The broken boy in my arms from earlier was gone, replaced by this man, this king.

“Tell him to report to the king’s office. I’ll be there momentarily.” He commanded.

“Yes, your highness.”

Footsteps were heard outside the door, quickly fading away with every fast-paced step. Louis leaned over to me and unlocked the leather strap.

“Come here, help me look presentable.” He spoke gently to me.

I crawled over to him and brushed his shoulders, fixing his shirt collar and attempting to press wrinkles out. I moved on to his hair then, taming the beast that was tangled on his head. I sat back and smiled once I’d done everything I could. He smiled sadly at me.

“Do I look like a Crown Prince again?” he asked, a flash of insecurity showing.

“No,” I told him gently, grabbing both of his hands in mine, “You look like a King.”

A blush crept onto his cheeks and I smiled at him. I’d never seen him like this, so fragile. It was like we’d switched places, he was the shy, insecure playmate and I was the charming, confident prince. It only lasted for a minute though. He stood from the bed and smoothed out the rest of his clothes.

“Let’s go on, they’re waiting for us.”

I followed after him obediently. He didn’t connect the leash as he had been for a while and I felt good about that. He trusted me again, if only just a little bit.

Once in the office Louis walked straight to the King’s chair and sat, coming face to face with the detective sitting across the desk. I stood behind the desk, not knowing exactly what to do.

“What have you discovered?” Louis asked straight away.

“You were right, he was poisoned. I also found traces of the poison on your plate. Who ever did this meant to kill you both.”

I silently sucked in a breath of air. Louis was meant to die as well? Who would do this?

“It’s clear to me that the murderer was after the throne.”

“How is it possible that the poison only got onto our plates? All the taste testers are well.” Louis countered.

“This happened after the plates left the kitchen. After they’d been sampled.” He explained.

“So the wait staff is to blame?”

“That would appear so. Did you have any unusual staff this morning?”

“No.”

“I understand that Lord Payne is visiting.” The detective spoke with a hint of urgency behind his words now.

“He is. What of it?” Louis asked, unaware of what the detective was implying.

I didn’t miss it, however.

“Your Highness, behind you, Lord Payne is the next in line for the throne of England since your Uncle was trampled by his horses last year and was taken from us, God rest his soul.”

“I do not like what you suggest detective. Lord Payne has been very loyal to my father for many years.”

“I’m only telling you what I know.” The detective tried to reason, but Louis was already angered.

“No! You are telling me what you suspect! You could ruin his name with this rubbish! Lord Payne is an outstanding Englishman and a close, personal friend of the royal family! You will not speak ill of him!” Louis slammed his fist onto the table.

The detective stood then, he placed his hands on the desk and leaned toward Louis, staring him in the face.

“You’ll find, Young Prince, that the people closest to you are always the most dangerous.” He spoke threateningly then backed away.

Louis only watched him as he sat down again.

“I’d like to question some of the staff, maybe someone saw something suspicious. I just need your permission first, Your Highness.” The tension in the air was lifted suddenly again.

“Permission granted.” Louis stated, “Is that all?”

“Yes, I’ll get right to work.”

The detective stood then and immediately left the room. The moment the door was closed, Louis’ posture left him and he slumped back into the chair. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply. I walked up behind him and rested my hands on his shoulders. He jumped slightly then relaxed when I started to massage his tense body.

“Am I being foolish for trusting Lord Payne, Hazza?” he asked after a few moments of silence.

“No, you have no reason to distrust him.” I spoke the truth, though I was beginning to develop a slight dislike for the man.

“I’ve no reason to distrust anyone in this palace, but someone has attempted to kill me this day.”

“You’ll just have to be more careful until the true murderer is caught and brought to justice. There’s nothing more to do.” 

Louis began to speak again when there was another knock on the door. A guard’s voice announced, “Her Majesty the Queen seeks audience with Crowned Prince Louis.”

“Come in, Mother.” Louis called and I stepped back away from him.

The door opened and the Queen stepped in, wearing a different gown than the one she’d been wearing at breakfast. She was standing tall and poised, as always, as she walked into the room. The door closed behind her as she floated over to the desk and sat where the detective had previously been.

“Your father must be buried within the week.” She spoke delicately.

“I’ve already sent for the Pope.” Louis responded and she nodded her head.

“I’ve notified the tailor to begin work on your coronation robes.” She was now obviously fighting tears.

Louis nodded this time and stood, walking around the large desk to his mother. She stood to meet him and he embraced her in a tight hug.

This made the tears begin to leak from her eyes, but she did not sob. She took a deep breath and patted his back.

“You were not supposed to be crowned like this. You father was supposed to be at your coronation.” She spoke shakily.

“Plans have changed.”

“Yes, they have.” She pulled away then and rested her hands on Louis’ shoulders, “I’ve sent for Eleanor and her family, they will attend. One of my proudest moments was standing by your father as he was crowned king.”

I couldn’t see his face but I just knew Louis was smiling back.

My heart broke a little. In all the excitement of this morning, I’d completely forgotten about Eleanor and Louis’ quickly approaching wedding ceremony.

“Thank you mother, but I won’t have Eleanor beside me when I’m crowned. I wish Harry to be there.” He turned as he spoke and smiled at me.

Once again, I was shocked. Did he just utter those words? Was my mind playing tricks on me because of what I’d heard earlier? When the Queen gasped I knew I’d heard the truth.

“Louis! You will do no such thing!” she whispered forcefully, “The whole country will talk!”

“The person most important to him is the one that is traditionally beside a king when he is crowned. I’ve not taken Eleanor as my wife yet, therefore my playmate fits the bill. You’ll have to notify the tailor to fix him a new suit. The one from my party was ripped to shreds.”

“You aren’t really considering this.” She spoke slowly now, as if Louis was a small child.

“Harry has been by my side for eight years. I won’t deny him his rightful spot in my coronation.” Louis said in a dismissive tone to his mother, she didn’t heed it though.

“No king has ever had his playmate…” she began but Louis cut her off.

“No king has ever been crowned without a wife! I know our history, Mother, I’ll be the first king coroneted without a wife to make queen.”

“We’ll push the wedding up. It can be next week. The day after both you and Eleanor will be crowned, the way it’s supposed to be.” She stated, pleadingly.

“No! I will not move up the wedding.”

“We are not in France my prince, England cannot have a bachelor as a king! Think of how we’ll look to the rest of Europe!”

“My word is final!” Louis shouted at his mother, stopping her reasoning words.

She stopped and stared at Louis for a few moments then looked back at me. I locked eyes with her for only a moment then looked away, but it was enough to feel the death glare she was giving me.

“You’ll do well to know that this country’s nobility will not support you if you try to destroy the values that this monarchy was built upon. You are not king yet, my son, and the first thing you’ll learn is that without the support of your countrymen, you’ll have no country to rule.” Her tone was light and delicate again but the underlying threat was still there.

She turned then, and glided out of the room leaving Louis and I alone again. Once again, I was reminded of all Louis would have to give up to keep me. The hope I’d had this morning left me as the door lightly closed behind the Queen. I couldn’t blame Louis though. He’d be giving up everything for me. Me, the lowly little commoner, sold into slavery as a baby probably by a family of serfs. I cringed as I thought of what my life could have been like.

I was lucky enough to have been chosen by Louis once, fate was not kind enough to let him choose me again.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **YOU ALSO THINK THIS CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE HAPPY, BUT IT ISN'T. IT'S SAD. THERE ALSO MIGHT BE A HINT OF ABUSE? I THINK LOUIS PUSHES HARRY DOWN. HARRY IS STILL A SLAVE**

In only three days time the Pope arrived at the palace. He and all the nobility of Europe, it seemed, were there for the king’s burial. He would be laid to rest in the Royal Cemetery on the edge of the palace grounds. Every one of the Tomlinson Royals were buried there and some day, Louis would be laid to rest there as well. I cringed at the thought.

Along with the burial, the palace was flying in motion getting prepared for Louis’ coronation, set to take place the day after. Louis had stood firm against his mother’s wishes and arranged for me to be near him as he was crowned. We were currently in the throne room, the day before the funeral, practicing for the coronation. The Pope had already given me more than a few strange looks, but mostly he was happy and joked with Louis as he instructed him.

“Then this is where you will come stand after I’ve placed the crown on your head. You’ll take Harry’s hand here, well, traditionally that’s where your wife would be so you don’t have to hold his hand,” the Pope added as a side note, but Louis grabbed my hand anyway, “and you’ll walk out as everyone shouts and cheers. Then you just go on up to the balcony and make your grand speech. The commoners will already be gathered there waiting for you.”

“That’s it?” Louis asked, sounding somewhat relieved.

“That’s it.” The Pope confirmed.

“Splendid.” Louis breathed out and dropped my hand.

We’d been here for a few hours, running through everything. The usually empty throne room was full of rows of benches in preparation for the ceremony. The large golden throne had been cleaned even more spotlessly. The entire palace was being scrubbed brick by brick to make everything suitable in the short time they had.

“God bless you Louis. You’ve already been through so much in your short life. May you live a long prosperous life. One filled with all the joy and happiness God can offer a man.” The Pope spoke in his strange accent and Louis nodded to him.

“Thank you Sir.” He replied to the little speech.

The Pope took a deep breath and smiled at the both of us. He then brought his hands together and joined them in front of him.

“I must be getting back to my quarters, it’s almost time for some evening reflection and prayer.” He spoke wistfully then bid us good day and left.

Once the Pope and all of his guards were gone, Louis and I were alone in the room. The echo of the great doors closing was heard as Louis started slowly walking toward the throne. Three ornately decorated chairs stood proudly upon a slightly raised pedestal. The King’s Throne sat in the middle, made of solid gold and royal purple velvet. On the right, stood the Queen’s Throne. It was more feminine, dainty. It looked to be made of gold, but really only the outside shone brilliantly, plated in the precious metal. Then, on the left of the King’s Throne stood a smaller, less flashy version of it. This was reserved for the Crowned Prince, the next in line to throne of England. It had belonged to Louis for so long, but tomorrow, it would be given to his unborn first son.

Louis walked right up to the King’s Throne and sat gently on the cushions. He smiled as he looked out into the room. I briefly remembered the night I arrived at the palace. After his birthday celebration Louis showed me everything, explaining, in detail, everything he knew about each place and item I saw. The throne room had been our last stop, because Louis had determined it would be the perfect grand finale.

 

I ran behind Louis as he charged through the corridors of his home. My sides hurt from running so much, but I didn’t dare release the hand Louis had offered me when we snuck from his bed chamber to go exploring. He was my savior from that awful little cage I’d been cramped into for a year, and I vowed to never be the first to break our connected hands.

The young prince came to a sliding halt, me right beside him, in front of the giant doors leading into the throne room. He was panting as he turned to me with a smile.

“This is the greatest room in the whole palace.” Louis whispered, still attempting to catch his breath.

I smiled widely at this, still unbelieving the fact that I was even here, in the palace, my new home. Louis pushed one of the doors with his free hand and it swung open with ease. That was a very unexpected feature, but I paid no mind to it as I caught sight of the room behind the door.

I gasped as I looked into the throne room. It currently sat empty, but looked magical nonetheless. Louis tugged me gently forward into the large room. I let him lead me all the way up to the front of the room as I stared at the glistening throne of the King. When he attempted to pull me up the steps on the pedestal I stopped. Louis turned to me in wonder.

“Come have a look at it.” He spoke gently and I shook my head.

This was the Throne of England! I wasn’t fit to be in this room, much less on that pedestal. I took a step back, pulling Louis’ hand back as well.

“Harry, it’s okay. You can come closer. It’s only a chair.” Louis chuckled as he pulled a little on my hand.

I gave in this time and stepped forward, onto the pedestal steps. I breathed in, a little scared I might burst into flames for setting foot here, and took the last step onto the platform.

“This one is mine,” Louis told me proudly, pulling me toward his throne, “but one day I’ll be King and that one will belong to me.”

I nodded, showing that I understood. Louis pulled his hand away then and I snapped my head to look at him. Had I upset him? Why did he pull his hand away?

“Can you talk?” he asked bluntly, staring curiously at me.

I nodded and his face scrunched together.

“Then do it. Tell me something.” He spoke confidently to me.

I opened my mouth to speak but then closed it. I’d been told a long time ago that no one wants to hear what a slave has to say, ever. I can’t remember the last time I uttered a word, but Louis was still staring at me expectantly. He wanted to hear me speak. So what should I say? This would be my first time speaking to him. It had to be meaningful. It could be a long while before I’m asked to speak again. I was unbelievably grateful to him, for saving me from my former imprisonment. Was it possible to express that in so little words that he stayed interested?

He cleared his throat and rose his eyebrows, still waiting. I opened my mouth again as I thought of the perfect words.

“Thank you.” I spoke quietly to him, hoping to convey everything I was feeling to him.

Louis smiled at this and brought me in for a hug. He definitely wasn’t shy about showing affection, however, the action caused me to blush.

“You have a pretty voice.” He whispered in my ear.

I blushed more and attempted to cover my face in his chest. He only pulled away though and grabbed my chin, making me look at him. He was smiling at me and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“I’ll never get over those dimples.” He gently said and I blushed more.

That’s when he did something completely unexpected. He leaned forward and planted a kiss right on my lips. I was too shocked to react before he pulled away. He was still smiling and started laughing at my expression.

I slowly raised my fingers to brush against my lips. Had that moment really just occurred?

Louis turned then and walked over to the King’s Throne. He sat down on the edge and pushed himself back so that his feet and shins hung straight out. He had a lot of growing left to do before he’d fit that chair,

“Here Hazza. Come sit in Mother’s chair.” He told me in his playful tone, suddenly calling me by a new name.

I hesitated, but did as I was told. Upon sitting in the chair I felt a feeling rush over me. I couldn’t describe it, but it gave me chills as I sat beside Louis.

“One day I’ll be king, and I’ll be able to do whatever I want.” He smiled and sunk into the chair.

I smiled at this and looked out again into the room. It was the first time in a very long while that I was looking forward to my future. A future with Louis.

 

 

“Do you remember your first night in the palace?” Louis asked, snapping me from the very memory he was speaking of.

I nodded and walked closer to him. He reached his hands out for me to take, which I did. I stood in front of the throne, looking down at him as he smiled affectionately up at me.

“Do you ever think back on those days, and wonder if who you were then, would be proud of who you are now?” he whispered to me.

I nodded just to please him. I never thought of things like that, and if I did what would I imagine?

“I don’t think I’d be proud of myself Hazza.” His voice shook along with his hands as he revealed this to me.

“Louis, you’re a good man.” I tried to comfort him.

“I’m a spoiled prince,” He corrected me, “I’ve had so much time to think these past few days. I’ve done nothing good with my life. I’ve always lived for me. Now I’ll be King. What will I do when the people revolt against me? How can I help the people of my kingdom if the only person I’ve ever cared about is myself?!”

I knew that was supposed to be an insult to himself, but it kind of stung me as well.

“You’re over complicating things Louis. You’re just scared.”

“I am not scared!” he immediately shouted back tearing his hands from mine.

“Louis, it’s okay to feel…” he cut me off again.

“Don’t speak another word Playmate. You have no idea what I’m going through.” That broke me. Not once had he ever called me Playmate, “How could you? You’ve never had this sort of responsibility! So don’t tell me how to feel!”

I felt myself curl inwardly as tears began forming. Louis stood then and pushed me out of the way. He made no motion to console me, as he usually did. I stumbled and finally fell off the pedestal and onto the cold, hard stone floor and still Louis didn’t come to me. Instead, he stormed out of the room.

I pulled my knees to my chest and cried, big fat tears of pain, both physical and emotional. He’d become so upset with me that he didn’t even attempt to console my tears. I’d done it then He was surely through with me this time.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **MORE MENTIONS OF RAPE. MAYBE BULLYING. LOT'S OF SLAVES ALL IN ONE PLACE. DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER. CHEATING. THIS CHAPTER ACTUALLY ENDS HAPPILY THOUGH**

You can tell a lot about a man by the crowd at his burial. Louis had told me that at his grandfather’s burial, on his mother’s side. He’d looked around at the emotionless crowd that barely filled the first 20 pews of the Cathedral then leaned over to me, whispering these wise words in my ear.

Mark Tomlinson’s burial, though, was a much bigger event with a much better turnout. Kings and Queens along with nobility came from all across Europe to witness it. Not a dry eye on the grounds as the former king was laid to rest.

I’d been attached to the leash again after the events of last night. I’d cried until I was dried out before slowly walking up to Louis’ bed chamber. He was already there, reading over a parchment by candle light. When he saw me enter he only glanced up at me before looking down again.

I was now being kept by Liam. Louis had handed my leash over as they’d walked over from the palace at the head of the crowd. Zayn was standing next to me, gently nudging me every so often.

Once the burial was over a feast in the King’s honor was being held inside the Great Hall. Like usual, the playmates were being kept in an annex room, so as not to be a disturbance. Louis did not save me from this, as he had done at his party. He retrieved me from Liam and took me straight to the designated room. Zayn arrived shortly after, pulling a pillow over to where Louis had locked me to a support beam.

“Do they know who killed His Majesty, God rest his soul?” Zayn whispered as more playmates started filtering in.

“No, the detective is still working.” I responded.

“Does he suspect anyone?” Zayn leaned in further and whispered that to me. I pulled away slightly and stared at him.

“Do you know something, Zayn?”

Zayn shot back to sit straight up as he registered my words. He stared at me with wide eyes while I looked back with curious ones.

After a little bit of silence I decided to speak. He knew something, maybe I could get it out of him if I shared a little of my own information first.

“The detective is under the impression that Lord Payne is behind it.” I told him quietly.

“No! It wasn’t him!” Zayn whisper shouted.

“How can you be so sure?” I rose an eyebrow at the dark skinned lad.

“I… you have to promise to keep this to yourself. I could be killed for telling you this.” He leaned in, I did as well.

I nodded, suddenly extremely interested in what information he had to offer.

“I was going to find Liam the night before it happened,” he emphasized the word ‘it’, “He was in the kitchen. I heard his voice from outside the door then I heard Niall. I couldn’t understand what they were saying so I cracked the door open a little. I watched them for a few moments before Niall started talking about a revolt in Ireland. He said he was worried about his family and he had to get to them. Then Liam hugged him and told him not to act foolishly. He said that overreacting is the worst thing he could do. Niall exploded then. He started shouting about how much he hated Louis. He said he wanted to hurt him so badly. Liam hugged him again then pulled him in and pressed their lips together in a kiss. They started snogging then. I ran for it. Harry, they’re together, and Niall wishes Louis dead. Could it have been possible that the plates were mixed up?” Zayn finished off his story and stared at me.

I sat silently, processing everything in my head. Niall. In the past few days I’d considered every staff member in this palace as a potential murderer, except Niall. He didn’t seem capable of such a thing. But I suppose if you push someone far enough, they’re capable of anything really.

“Wait, did you just say Liam and Niall…” I trailed off and Zayn nodded.

“How did that happen?” I asked, possibly more shocked by this then the “Niall is a Murderer” theory.

“Does it matter?” Zayn spoke even quieter at that and looked at the floor.

He was embarrassed, as he should be. Liam was dissatisfied with him and seeking out others to fulfill his needs. I’d die of shame if Louis ever did that. I reached a hand out to Zayn, attempting to comfort him. He looked up and smiled sadly.

“What’s going on lads?” an excited boy jumped over to us.

Both Zayn and I jumped back, startled by his quick movements. I’m not sure what his name was, but he was the playmate to the son of the Capitan of the Royal Guard. He’d only been a playmate for a few years.

“You nearly scared the life from me.” I gasped, grabbing my chest.

“Sorry, I just overheard you talking about the revolt in Ireland. My boy’s Father is always talking about it.” He explained in his boyish, child-like voice.

“It doesn’t concern you.” Zayn told the boy harshly.

The boy flinched away at the mean tone and I wanted to apologize to him. It was no secret that playmates around the country were treated worse than pets. I had gotten so very lucky, and so had Zayn. By the way this boy jumps and flinches at raised voices, I’d guess he wasn’t so lucky.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to talk.” The boy said dejectedly, looking down at the floor.

The poor boy walked away then, over to sit alone. I glanced around the room. All the boys were sitting quietly, most of them not speaking. Very few knew one another and others were commanded not to converse by their boys. Ages ranged from as young as five to as old as twenty as I looked over some familiar faces and some new ones.

I cringed when my eyes landed on a young boy that couldn’t have been older than nine. He was kneeling, not sitting, on the floor. Tears were slowly leaking from his eyes as his hands rested on his bum.

I and every other playmate with a mature boy knew exactly what the cause of his tears was. He’d been bedded today, possibly yesterday. I nearly began to cry for him as I watched him attempting to sit back on his knees. He never actually rested himself there though.

Zayn caught what I was staring at and sighed beside me.

“Do you remember that feeling?” he asked quietly, our previous conversation seemingly gone with the departure of the young boy.

“I’ll never forget it.” I whispered back.

The young lad began to cry harder as he finally sat. I wanted to hug him, tell him it would get better, one day he’d actually like it, but I was tied to this beam. And even if I wasn’t I would keep my mouth shut. I don’t know if his boy will ever make it enjoyable for him. God knows Louis holds all the power when it comes to my pleasure, I can’t promise that this young playmate has a boy like Louis.

Louis. My heart ached for him. The past few days we’d gotten so close again. I couldn’t deny the pain I was caused thinking about him. He hadn’t uttered a word to me since yesterday.

The rest of the feast flew by quickly and soon enough Louis was coming to retrieve me from the support beam. I followed him wordlessly from the room and up to his bed chamber. He silently locked me to the bed strap and stripped himself down. I did the same and attempted to curl up beside him. He wrapped an arm around me then and pulled me closer. My heart lifted slightly at the small affectionate gesture. Maybe there was still hope.

Not a word was said all night long and soon enough, morning came, marking the day of Louis’ coronation. I was beyond excited about the whole event but was a little nervous. On top of my nerves I was also in a permanent state of sadness because of Louis’ silent treatment. We were getting dressed in the tailor’s room at midday and he’d yet to speak a word to me.

I pulled on my jacket and turned to look at myself in the mirror. This outfit was even more stunning than the last. As I looked it over Louis stepped into the reflection behind me. He was staring at me smiling slightly.

I turned and took in the sight of him. He looked like a king. There was no other way to describe him. The realization that in a little over an hour he would be King Louis Tomlinson washed over me. I’d be the playmate of the King of England. I smiled at him and took a few steps closer, hoping he would respond somehow.

“You look brilliant.” I told him.

He looked down at this and grabbed my hands in his to stare at them.

“Do I look like a king?” he asked timidly, idly playing with my fingers.

“A right fit one.” I smiled wider that he’d spoken to me.

Finally. I felt the tension in my body release as he tugged me closer to peck my lips. He pulled back out of the kiss and rested his forehead on mine. I watched as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, small smile in place.

When he opened his eyes they connected with mine and I felt as though I was looking straight into his soul. His deep blue orbs gave away his every insecurity, they told me all his secrets. He was scared, so unbelievably scared that I thought I felt him tremble. He was doubting himself, unsure that he was ready for the responsibility he was about to be given. He needed someone to talk to, someone to confide in, but he couldn’t show weakness, not when his country needed him.

As I stared into his gaze, seeing every thought as if I was reading it from a book, I felt myself tear up for him. He was torn in more ways than one. The stress of this week was eating him alive, yet he had no one to talk to, no one to hold him and tell him it would be okay. He was becoming king. Kings don’t need to be comforted, they have to be strong, stable, able to uphold face even in the worst of circumstances.

I hurt for him. My heart yearned to be the one he trusted with his inner most thoughts, but I knew it would never happen. Louis doesn’t talk of feelings. Louis keeps up face. The morning of the king’s death was the only time Louis’ hardened mask had been cracked, showing only me the fragile boy that hid behind it.

I knew he would never speak of his feelings, but I could still speak of my own. I knew the perfect words to say to him. He needed to know that someone was there. That I could see the truth, even though he denied it was such. I leaned in so that our lips brushed together as I spoke and whispered to him,

“I see you Louis, and not a day goes by that I don’t love you.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ORGASM DENIAL. LARRY HAS CONSENSUAL SEXUAL RELATIONS. MORE HOMOPHOBIC MENTIONS**

Tears filled his eyes now, but none fell. He closed those ocean blue orbs and pressed our lips together firmly. I felt all the emotion that I’d just seen being transferred in the kiss. He was needy and desperate.

His hands went up to cup my cheeks as he kissed even harder. His tongue slid into my mouth and made no fight for dominance over me. He kept everything gentle but yet made it rough at the same time.

Much too soon a knock at the door brought us apart.

“They’re ready Your Highness.” A voice called to us and Louis released my cheeks but let his grip fall to my hands.

“This is it.” Louis whispered.

All traces of the tears that had been occupying his eyes were now gone along with all his worries and insecurities. Now all I could see was my over-confident, excited prince. I smiled when I realized that I had done that. I had made his worries disappear, I had calmed his nerves.

Louis pulled me in to peck my lips one last time before leading me out the door. A guard was standing just a few meters from us holding a pillow with Louis’ crown. He let go of my hand and walked over, gently grabbing the crown and placing it upon his head. I’d only even seen this crown a few times, Louis wasn’t one for ‘head ornaments’ as he liked to call them.

We were led by two other guards down to the throne room where everyone was already waiting. Louis reached down and grabbed my hand as the large doors were swung open. All the guests were standing as Louis and I walked down the center aisle to the Pope, standing in front of the thrones. The Queen sat on her throne, watching with joy as Louis and I approached her.

I momentarily thought that this is what it would feel like if I was to marry Louis. My heart soared at the thought, and I couldn’t bring myself to stop imagining it. A bright smile glowed on my face as I walked proudly holding onto Louis’ strong hand.

My fantasy crumbled though when I reached the end of the aisle and Louis released my hand as we climbed onto the pedestal. Louis sat on his Prince’s Throne while I sat on the pillow that had been placed beside it. Normally, if his wife was beside him, she would have a chair here as well, but I’m just the playmate, nowhere near as significant as the wife.

The Pope spoke in his loud booming voice, ensuring the whole room could clearly hear his praise. I listened intently to all his prayers and recited each as it came up. Then, finally, it was time for the actual coronation.

Louis stood from his throne. I knelt beside Louis as the royal cape was draped over his shoulders.

“I pray to God that you may protect and shield your country from all harm that may befall it.” The Pope spoke loudly enough that everyone could hear, but he stared straight at Louis.

Next he held his bible out to Louis who placed his left hand upon it and held his right in the air. The Pope gave him a slight nod and Louis began to recite, perfectly, the Coronation Oath.

A smile broke on my face as The Pope pulled the bible back and gestured for Louis to go sit on the King’s Throne. I stayed in my place, as I was not being crowned.

Louis sat in the golden chair and I caught his beaming eyes for a moment. The Pope anointed Louis with holy oil then handed him the Scepter of the Cross in his left hand. Louis took it and listened as the Pope said a small prayer.

That’s when two alter servers walked over to the Pope. One held an empty pillow that I recognized as the one Louis had retrieved his crown from earlier and the other held the Crown of England. 

“By the power of God, bestowed upon me by the Holy Roman Catholic Church, I remove this crown from your royal brow,” as The Pope spoke he lifted Louis’ crown off his head and gingerly placed it on the empty pillow, “and replace it with the Royal Crown of England, the crown worn by your father, and his father before him, and his father before him. I crown you, Louis Tomlinson, King of England! All rise for your new King.” 

Cheers erupted as Louis stood from the throne and walked down the pedestal to me. He grabbed my hand in his free one without hesitation and walked from the room while ‘God Save the King’ echoed joyfully.

Louis’ speech to the commoners went by in a blur. I stood obediently next to him as he looked out over what seemed to be all of England. They chanted and cheered for him, accepting their new king. The smile never left me face as I watched Louis deliver his speech with practiced ease.

On last wave and we were gone again, this time we ended in Louis’ bed chamber. Gemma was making the bed when we walked in. She looked terrified when she saw Louis. When I glanced at him, he looked angry.

“Why was this not done earlier?” he lashed out at her and she flinched away from his harsh tone.

“I’m sorry, Your High- Majesty! Your Majesty! Sire, with all the events of the day your maid staff fell behind.” She shook with fear at her mess up.

Louis was enraged. It never ceased to shock me how quickly he could jump drastically from emotion to emotion. He stepped forward and raised his hand, as if going to slap her but I grabbed for his waist before he could get close enough to her.

Louis’ head snapped around to me and I immediately released him, suddenly feeling that interfering in this was a horrid idea. Much to my surprise though, Louis lowered his hand and walked back to me, grabbing for mine.

“Leave maid.” Louis told her, not taking his eyes off me.

As Gemma passed I saw her give me a thankful smile before she bolted out the door. Louis wasted no time in leaning in to kiss me once she had left. Obviously he didn’t care about her mistake enough to let it completely ruin his day.

He also wasted no time in beginning to strip us both of our clothes. I stepped out of my pants and shoes when he tugged them down, revealing my growing member. He stepped out of his own clothes then so that all that was left was the crown resting atop his head. He gently slid that off too, making sure to sit it slowly onto the top of his chest of drawers.

When he came back to me he swept me off my feet and carried me to the bed where he placed me. Our lips were connected the moment he was on the bed as well. He grinded down into me, creating an amazing friction. I moaned loudly at his and pushed my erection up to rub against his.

“Hazza,” he moaned, pressing himself further down on me.

He pulled away from me then, suddenly in a huge rush, and told me to get on my hands and knees. I did as I was told and felt him kneel behind me.

Without even a warning, he thrust into me. I clutched the blankets firmly in my hands and bit my lip to keep from screaming in pain. He wasn’t being gentle today, he was too excited.

He wiggled his hips a little, making his erection shift inside of me. He managed to brush against my sweet spot and made a pleasurable growl rip through me. I heard him chuckle then pull out and instantly slam back in.

“Louis!” I moaned into the otherwise silent room.

He began pulling out and roughly slamming back in, hitting that glorious spot inside of me every time. I couldn’t bring myself to care that I wouldn’t be able to sit when this was all over, all I cared about was the amazing feeling of Louis pounding into me.

I began pushing back to meet his thrusts, I was getting so close. I could feel that familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was ready to cum but right before he pushed me over the edge, Louis pulled out completely and started backing away.

I whined and pushed my bum towards him instinctively. He chuckled and slapped it gently.

“Finish me off, Hazza.” He commanded with a smirk firmly in place.

I mentally grumbled as I crawled over to him. He’d laid back and was propped up on his elbows, watching my every move. As I settled in between his legs he spread them wider so I could have more access.

I hated doing this. I hated it with all my being. He knew, of course. He was teasing me. My rock hard member was now aching for some kind of release that I wouldn’t be able to give.

I brought my mouth down only centimeters from the head of his erection. I wrapped my fingers delicately around the base and closed my eyes. I found that when I closed my eyes it wasn’t nearly as bad.

“Don’t be a tease, Love.” Louis spoke with a calm I would not have been able to manage had our positions been reversed.

I swallowed one last time before opening up and sliding my mouth over his pulsing penis. I heard him moan and felt his hips jerk up a little. I got choked a little, but it was nothing he hadn’t done before.

Getting right to it, wanting this over as soon as possible I swirled my tongue around him as I slowly pulled off then swallowed him again. More moaning and small thrusts continued as I began bobbing my head in an attempt to get him off. I realized that wasn’t doing the job quick enough so I started sucking on him, hollowing out my cheeks as I took in as much as possible.

I felt drool sliding down the corners of my mouth and wanted desperately to wipe it away, but knew it would only be replaced until I finished the task at hand.

“Oh, Hazza!” Louis screamed out when I’d began humming.

I felt his already enlarged member grow even a little more before finally releasing into my mouth. I swallowed down every drop, as I’d always done and pulled off of his now softening penis.

The pain in my own groin only increased when I looked at him. Louis’ head was still thrown back in ecstasy from his orgasmic high and a thin layer of sweat covered his gorgeous body. I longed to touch myself.

When Louis finally sat up, he only smiled at me before standing.

“Alright, let’s go to the feast.” He said, especially chipper.

I looked up at him with what I hoped were adorable puppy dog eyes. He didn’t even acknowledge the look, only went about redressing himself. I watched him get completely dressed, hoping that he’d start laughing any second then wank me off.

“They’re waiting for me,” Louis smirked, looking over my entire body, stretched out on the bed for him, “I need to go soon.”

I looked down then, it was another one of his games. I’d be hard and uncomfortable through the feast and there was nothing I could do about it.

I began to climb off the bed when pain shot through my back side, starting with my bum. I hadn’t been taken that hard in a long while and my body wasn’t used to it at all. I gently scooted myself to the edge and slid myself off.

The pain I felt in my bum while trying to move on the bed wasn’t nearly as bad as the pain now shooting through it. I winced as I stepped toward my extremely tight trousers. You’ll be able to see every detail.

Louis walked over to me and handed me my shirt and jacket that I easily slipped on. The stockings were a nightmare and the trousers were stretched tightly around my body leaving nothing to wonder.

I looked down once I’d finally managed to get fully dressed and saw that my painful erection hadn’t gone down and if anything, it was only getting worse due to the delicious friction the trousers were creating.

“Don’t want to be late.” Louis said, grabbing the crown up and placing it on his head before glancing in the mirror to make it straight.

I walked to him and let him take my hand as I limped along beside him to the Great Hall. The doors swung open and the room erupted in cheers. I walked with Louis to his seat then left him to go to the annex room alone.

The nobles were quieter than normal, it felt like everyone was staring at my limping form. I glanced around to take a peak and realized that everyone was in fact staring, and none of their faces looked happy.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET REAL EMOTIONAL. HOMOPHOBIA. ABUSE. SELF HATRED. SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. EATING DISORDER. IDENTITY CRISIS.**

Four days after Louis became king was when I really felt the effects of the noble’s angry stares at the party. I came and sat in Louis’ office everyday as he worked. Most of the day we sat alone, but occasionally he would receive a visitor. When that happened it was usually an officer in the English Navy. Ireland was the hot topic in the office, nearly every discussion lead to Ireland and the revolt there.

On this fourth day a nobleman came in, his was an older man, his face was wrinkled and his hair held flecks of gray. I thought I recognized him, but that really didn’t mean much. The man walked right in and glared harshly at me the moment he noticed my presence.

“I request a private audience, your Majesty.” The man spoke in an angry tone.

“You have one Lord Cowell.” Louis responded in a bored tone, looking over papers on his desk.

“I believe there is another present, Sir.” Lord Cowell practically snarled at me and I flinched away from him.

Louis looked up then at the angry man killing me with his gaze. I could feel the tension as Louis looked from this man to me and back again.

“Harry is only my playmate. He is always with me.” Louis stated as if confused as to why this man was so upset.

“Excuse my language your Majesty, but you are eighteen years old. Don’t you think a playmate is a childish thing to keep?” Lord Cowell snapped at Louis.

Unlike when Louis’ mother and father had spoken like this Louis looked taken aback by Lord Cowell’s words, not outraged.

Louis’ mouth opened and closed, as if not sure what to say.

“Your family has been seated on this throne for more generations than anyone would care to count. I would hate for that to all be ruined because you can’t rid yourself of a childhood toy.”

At this Louis seemed to react. He stood from his place behind his desk so that he was at the same height as Lord Cowell.

“Was that a threat?” Louis glared back at him, speaking in hushed tones.

“It was a warning. You two put on quite a show for the guests at the coronation feast. It’s all everyone has talked about since.” Lord Cowell started explaining but Louis cut him off.

“Gossip!”

“Truth! Did you or did you not lay with him the day of your coronation?! All the guests saw the evidence! You’ve made England an embarrassment all across Europe. Other countries are sure to attack once they realize your attraction to men! Especially with this Irish revolt! Spain in sure to swoop in any day to attempt a takeover!” Lord Cowell yelled slamming his hands down of Louis’ desk.

Louis didn’t speak for a few moments. He sat in his seat and looked calmly up at Lord Cowell, a new calm over his presence. He folded his hands on the desk in front of him and took a deep breath.

“England is a world power, Lord Cowell. We have the resources and man power to destroy all of Spain.”

“How many of our men do you think would serve under a eunuch king?” Lord Cowell challenged.

“That’s enough, Simon! I won’t be insulted in my own office!” Louis screamed standing from his seat again.

No one challenges Louis’ manhood.

“I just think you should be aware of what your subjects are calling you.” Simon Cowell said, now suddenly calm.

“I think you should leave.”

“I’m just warning you, Young King. You may have been able to get away with keeping toys as the crown prince, but the world is watching you now. They’re waiting for you to slip up, Louis. Don’t.”

Without waiting for a response, Simon turned and left the room. Louis slowly sat down in his chair then and glanced over at me. When we made eye contact he was quick to look away.

Fear consumed me. I recognized the name Cowell. He sat at the king’s advisory table. Only the most trusted men in England sat there. Louis’ father thought only the world of every member, therefore Louis would think similarly.

He didn’t talk to me the rest of the day. I sat on the floor beside him at dinner, as always, and forgot all about the conversation with Simon Cowell. That is, until Louis retreated to his bed chamber that night, I with him. Upon entering his room he turned to me.

“Harry, we’re grown men now, not boys.” He said to me and I knew immediately what was coming.

I reached out for him, desperately hoping that if I could touch him it would somehow convince him not to do this.

“We both knew this day would come.” He said and pulled away from my touch.

I stared boldly into his face but he was looking down. He shuffled awkwardly when I didn’t respond.

“I had your things taken back to your old bed chamber, you’ll be there permanently now.” I heard his voice crack midsentence.

“But… but what will I do?” I asked the question I was so terrified of.

“I’m going to try and find a job for you in the palace. I’ll have someone notify you when I’ve found a job.” He wouldn’t be delivering my fate himself.

That’s when the tears started. I felt them start pouring from my eyes. He was acting as if we didn’t know one another. Like he wasn’t the love of my life and my life wasn’t crumbling around me. I felt my heart race and it beat so hard I felt it all over my body. The stabbing pain in my gut made me want to puke up all of my dinner.

“Lou-Louis… pl-please no.” I heard a voice that sounded nothing like mine fall from my lips.

I couldn’t handle this. He was everything to me and he wouldn’t even look at me while he threw me away. He had to get rid of me. The country didn’t want us together.

The day had finally come for him to pick, me or the throne. He’d made his choice blatantly obvious. I was just lucky I wasn’t being chained to a courtesan bed.

“It has to be this way, Love.” He spoke in a wavering tone, voice cracking.

Anger ripped through my quickly deteriorating mind. How dare he use such an intimate name while he destroys me! I stepped forward and shoved him, not caring that he was the King of England, not caring that I was his slave, and especially not caring when he was so caught off guard he fell down. All I cared about was the fact that he was breaking my heart, and I just wanted him to stop.

“No!!! Don’t call me that! Don’t act like you actually care about me!!! You never cared! I was just your playmate! I was just your sex slave!!! I love you Louis!!! I love you with every part of my soul! I get up every morning smiling because you’re next to me! I spend every moment of my life trying to make you happy! Trying to be whatever you want! Trying to make you love me back!!! But you don’t and you never will!!! So don’t act like you do! You’re already killing me, Louis… don’t twist the knife.” I took a deep breath at the end of my rant.

He didn’t look at me once. He made no motion to get off the floor. I saw him pull his knees to his chest and shake as if he’d been hit with a gust of cold wind.

“I do care about you.” If I hadn’t been listening closely, I wouldn’t have heard his shaky words.

“I don’t believe you.” I croaked, finally letting out the lump in my throat.

His head snapped up at this and I could see his clear blue eyes were full of unshed tears. He looked slightly angry himself.

“What do you want me to do?! You heard Simon in my office! I can’t have a playmate anymore! I’m king. I have to get married. I have to have children. I need an heir. I’ll always care about you, Hazza. But I have to… we have to move on from this.” His face softened as he spoke.

He stood from the floor and walked toward me but I pushed him away.

“No. I don’t want your comfort.” I tried to sound angry, but failed miserably.

I turned and began walking from the room, needing to get away from him. On my short walk to the door I desperately hoped that he would stop me though. Pull me into his arms and not let go until I stopped fighting. Then he’d say that he loved me too. That the thought of losing me was too much for him to handle.

He didn’t though. He let me walk out. He watched me walk out that door and did nothing to stop me. Not even so much as a ‘No, Hazza, stop,’ or a ‘I care to much to let us end things this way.’ He just let me go, like I was just another servant leaving his room. Like I was just another slave. Like all the rest of them that he despises so greatly.

I walked right back to my old room, laid down on the bed and crumbled. Tears poured from my eyes and sobs shook my body. I couldn’t stop the pain that was taking over my conscious mind. This heartbreak was worse than anything I’d ever experienced. The lashings from the whip were nothing compared to this.

Every happy memory of the past eight years began flashing through my mind and I sobbed harder. It was all over. Everything. I’d never feel Louis’ touch again. Never again would his kisses take away my breath. I’d never get that feeling of warmth again, that only he could produce inside my body. I’d never be whole again, not without Louis.

I felt my dinner begin to rise in my chest. I ran to the chamber pot sitting in the corner and emptied my stomach into it. I released everything into the pot until I just began dry heaving. My throat burn and my eyes wouldn’t stop overflowing with tears.

I curled up next to the pot on the cold stone, not having the energy to walk back to the bed. Sleep overtook me quickly and my body relaxed into it. The last thoughts before sleep completely took me were prayers to God.

‘Please Lord, if you really love me, just let me die tonight.’


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **MORE EMOTIONAL SHIT STORM. EATING DISORDER. SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. SELF HATRED. CAN YOU SEE WHERE THIS IS LEADING? TURN BACK NOW IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT. SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET REAL.**

I woke still lying on the floor next to the chamber pot. I had no idea what the time was. I didn’t care either. The stabbing pain in my gut had not gone away as I slept, it had only gotten worse.

Tears were still streaming down my face as I stood from the floor and stumbled over to my bed. I closed my eyes, searching for sleep, but only pictures of Louis ran through my mind.

The sobbing started all over again. I clutched my stomach as I gasped for breath. Everything was burning with thoughts of Louis and how I’d never be good enough for him.

I’m a slave. Not even my own parents wanted me as a baby, so how can I expect the King of England to want me around? He deserves someone great. Someone he can proudly display before the world. Someone who can give him an heir. Someone like Eleanor. He deserves Eleanor.

More sobs spilled from me and I began feeling sick. I felt myself convulsing as I sobbed harder. How could I live now? God had obviously chosen to make me suffer through life, judging by the fact that I actually woke up. I wanted nothing more than to just lie on this bed and die.

And that’s what I attempted to do for the next three days. I only left my bed to walk over to the chamber pot. It was emitting a sickening smell but I ignored it, not caring enough. I didn’t go to meals, I didn’t do anything but sob until sleep took me into a restless slumber filled with dreams of Louis. When I woke I just sobbed more. I felt so weak with hunger but my stomach felt queasy and I was sure if I ate anything it would come right back up.

I’d lost a will to go on. Louis was the reason I lived. He was my boy. He plucked me out of that wire cage and gave me a life I’d only been able to dream of. Now he was gone. Gone forever, in the worst way possible. Physically, he was right there. He’d probably walked by this very room dozens of times the past few days, but I couldn’t have him. It was like setting a feast before a starving man and refusing to let him eat.

The thought of food made my weak stomach turn. I wrapped my arms tightly around it and curled into a ball. I felt more tears. I was so weak. I was worthless. He didn’t want me.

A knock on the door sounded and I made no motion to answer it. Hopefully they’d just go away.

“Harry, it’s Gemma.” I heard her timid voice sound through the room.

I still said nothing. I heard her voice again.

“His Majesty sent me,” my heart lifted instantly, maybe he wanted me after all, “He gave me your new job assignment.”

My heart fell just as hard and as fast as it had lifted. He was officially letting go of his old playmate. I whimpered slightly at the thought of working so close to him in the palace.

“Harry, please let me in.” she begged from the other side of the door.

It was no secret that the maids in this palace knew and heard everything. There was no doubt in my mind that every servant knew exactly what state I was in.

“Go away.” I croaked out, voice barely above a whisper.

The voice sounded nothing like mine. It was the first words I’d spoken in three days and it sounded awful. My throat was dry and rough from the constant dry heaving.

If she heard my sad attempt at speech she didn’t heed it.

“He wants you to be a server, Harry. He made a spot for you to be a meal server.” Gemma continued to try, “Really it’s one of the easiest jobs in the palace.”

But it also meant seeing Louis. Every. Single. Day. I couldn’t handle that. Especially not when he marries Eleanor and I have to serve her food too. I cried harder at the mere thought.

“He expects you to start tomorrow at breakfast.” She said as if trying to get some kind of response from me.

I didn’t even attempt speaking again, scared of what might come from my mouth. There were a few moments of silence before I heard Gemma try the knob. It was open and she walked in quietly.

I didn’t even care enough to try and hide myself from her. What was the point?

“Harry…” she sighed sadly as she looked at me.

I said nothing and made no motion. She sat down on my bed and ran her fingers through my hair. Louis used to do that.

Yet another sob escaped me and I curled up as tightly as possible, trying to get away from her touch. She pulled her hand away then and stood from the bed.

“I’ll empty your chamber pot for you.” She stated randomly and walked over to it.

She left the room and it all went silent except for my quiet sobs. Minutes later she walked back in with my chamber pot, now emptied, and sat it back in its place. She wasn’t alone though.

“I brought you some food up.” It was Niall.

I hadn’t talked to him in so long, not since late December. That was when Louis cut off all my ties with him. Here he was though, standing in front of my bed with a plate of food.

I shook my head and turned away from him. If what Zayn had heard the night before the King’s murder was true, Niall was the perfect suspect. I didn’t want to eat anyway, but if I did I definitely wouldn’t accept it from the person responsible for the death of my king.

“Harry, you haven’t eaten in days.” Gemma told me.

I made no motion to respond. I just wanted them to leave so I could be alone again. Alone with all my memories of the man I so desperately loved. Neither of them seemed to accept this though.

I heard Gemma speaking quietly to Niall, “I’ll just tell him, he’s sick.”

I knew she was talking about Louis. She was going to tell Louis I was sick. Possibly too sick to work. I mentally thanked her, but didn’t have the energy to do so for real.

They both left then, but not before Niall placed the tray of food on my bedside drawer. I wanted to push it off, but didn’t have the energy. I just curled up tighter and let sleep consume me.

That next time I woke up, there was a new plate of food on my bedside drawer. I decided to try and eat something. The hunger pains in my stomach were beginning to drown out the pains of heart break, making me feel exhausted and heavy.

I reached a shaking hand over to the tray and picked up a corn muffin. It was dinner time. I brought the muffin to my mouth and took a small bite. I felt my body instantly respond to the food. I took another bite and this time feeling wasn’t a good one. I felt the two bites of muffin rising right back up in my chest.

I stumbled over to the freshly emptied chamber pot and released the contents of my stomach into it. I threw the rest of the corn muffin in as well. I wouldn’t be eating anymore of that. I did drink though. I gulped down all of the wine that was sitting on the tray and curled back up on the bed.

It didn’t hurt so much anymore. I couldn’t really feel anything now. It was like my emotions had broken under all the stress of the past few days. I felt tears slipping from my eyes, but didn’t understand why they were. I just felt cold.

This routine continued for a while, I’m not exactly sure how long, as I still never left the bad nor had any way to judge time. Niall was the one bringing food to my room. I’d woken one morning to him putting a breakfast tray on my bedside drawer. I felt too weak to question him about Liam, though I desperately wanted to know the truth.

I was slowly beginning to eat, but could hardly stay awake any longer than that. I still felt nothing. Even thoughts of Louis roused no pain or despair. I was numb. I just laid in bed, sleeping and dreaming about nothing, or staring at the wall, not a thought on my mind.

I knew Gemma was worried about me, so was Niall, but I couldn’t stop this. I didn’t have the energy to feel anymore. I didn’t have the energy to sob every time Louis crossed my mind. I didn’t even have the energy to think. It was like I was lifeless. I guess that’s what happens when your reason for living is gone, you just stop living.

A knock woke me one afternoon. It wasn’t Gemma or Niall, they never knock. I didn’t care to wonder who it was. They’d either come in or leave him alone. He didn’t care what they did.

“Harry?” It was Zayn’s timid voice.

I didn’t want to see him. He still had his boy. He still had a purpose.

“Harry, I’m coming in.” he said and waited a few moments before slowly opening the door.

I was staring straight at him when he came in. He closed the door and walked over to me. He knelt beside my bed, lowering his head to my level.

“I was told you were ill.” He said.

So he didn’t know. Not the truth, anyway. He knew I was ill, probably had heard that from Louis himself, who hadn’t cared enough to check the authenticity of that statement. I wanted Zayn to know the truth, but I couldn’t bring myself to recite it to him.

I didn’t respond at all, just stared at him.

“Liam told me what happened, I know what’s wrong.” He told me, not blinking once.

His brown eyes were staring into mine and I felt comforted. But that was taken away by his next statement.

“Louis isn’t much better.” He whispered and I closed my eyes.

I didn’t want to hear about how Louis was doing. I just wanted to lie in my own bed and not think about him. I wanted to just die here.

I turned away from Zayn and his talk of Louis. I curled up into a tight ball and squeezed my eyes shut, squeezing the world out. I wanted to be alone. If I couldn’t have Louis, I didn’t want anyone.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER IS ONE FALSE SENSE OF THINGS GETTING BETTER BUT REALLY THINGS ARE NOT GETTING BETTER. THINGS ARE GETTING A WHOLE LOT WORSE.**

Love hurts. I only vaguely remember my days before coming to the palace. As far as I remember I’d grown up on a farm with an old couple and their grown son. They were poor so I would sometimes go without meals. The old woman who I came to know as Elizabeth was rather affectionate toward me. I felt as though she was my mother at times.

My job was to help her in the house, nothing more. I did whatever Elizabeth asked of me. She would always talk sweetly to me and give me hugs and kisses, but only when we were alone. When her husband or son was around she just gave me commands.

I quickly understood that neither of the men liked or wanted me around. They were the ones that punished me when I did anything wrong. They were the ones that beat me when I spoke. They were the ones that, in the end, decided it was time for me to go.

A few days before they actually delivered me to the small building where I would live in a cramped cage for a year, Elizabeth told me the news. She took me in her arms and hugged me tightly. There were tears in her eyes as she told me that I was being sold. I was a slave and I was going to become a playmate. She said that I deserved better than their little shack of a farm house. She told me I was special and that she loved me like a son, though I was a slave.

I distinctly remember wondering why she was crying. She had just told me I was going somewhere better and that she loved me. Shouldn’t she be happy that I was going? But now it all makes sense. Elizabeth knew I would be better off, but she also didn’t want to let me go.

I was positive at least one week had passed since Zayn had come to me. He had visited me a few times before, I’m assuming, Lord Payne and Liam left the palace.

I was eating a little more now, but I still felt sick. I was beginning to pull myself together again. Niall was still delivering me food and Gemma was emptying my chamber pot every so often. I hadn’t left my room yet, I wasn’t ready for that.

All I ever did anymore was think about Elizabeth, and how she had let me go. She was so kind to me when she didn’t have to be. She treated me so well. I can never repay her that kindness. 

I’ve always wanted to know why she truly believed I would be going somewhere better. Playmates are usually treated worse than slaves, but that day she seemed so sure that I would end up with a good boy who would treat me well. She was right, but I want to know how she could be so positive. Had it just been my innocence believing her words without hesitation because she’d never lied to me? Or was that look of certainty about her caused by some sort of premonition that she herself had whole heartedly believed? I suppose I’ll never know the truth, but that doesn’t stop my mind from wondering.

I heard the door opening as I faced the opposite wall. It was most likely Gemma or Niall.

“Harry,” Gemma’s timid voice had me rolling over to acknowledge her, “His Majesty demands an audience with you in his office.”

I rolled back over at this. I wasn’t going. I wasn’t leaving this room until I died.

“He’s going to send guards to come get you if you don’t come on your own,” she tried to convince me but I just shook my head no.

Let them come. Maybe they’d kill me for defying the king. Maybe this would be it.

“Please Harry,” she begged and I felt a pang of guilt.

She’d been helping me through all of this. I was worse than a baby. I was taking up so much of her time and making no effort to lighten her load. I only felt myself leaning on her more as I half-heartedly tried to get better.

I decided it was time to try and speak. It would be bad, but I owed it to her. I whispered at first, knowing my voice would be shaky and rough from its long rest.

“I can’t see him,” I croaked out.

I didn’t recognize it myself so I can only imagine the reaction Gemma had to it. She took a deep breath after a few seconds and sat on the edge of my bed.

“He’s trying to break you. Don’t let him win,” she whispered back to me as she laid a hand on my shoulder.

All the emotion that I had been suppressing suddenly came crashing out in large waves of depression. The numbness was gone and I couldn’t help but long for it to come back. I didn’t want to feel. I didn’t want to remember him. I just wanted to lay in bed and think of Elizabeth, the only person to ever love me.

“He already has,” I heard the words that sounded nothing like mine.

I managed to hold in the tears and the sobs by biting my tongue. I was sick of crying. I didn’t want to anymore.

I flinched when my door was slammed open. Gemma gasped and jumped up from my bed. It was no doubt the guards, coming to escort me. I wouldn’t be going though, not unless they drug me the entire way.

“Get out, Maid,” my eyes flew open at the sound of that voice.

Guards hadn’t been sent to retrieve me, Louis had come himself. I heard Gemma’s footsteps rapidly exit and I curled up more.

I wouldn’t cry. Not for him.

The door slammed shut and Louis walked slowly over to my bed. He sat on the edge of my bed and reached to run his fingers through my matted curls.

“They tell me you’ve fallen ill,” he stated, fingers catching a knot and gently pulling it out.

I remained silent. I wasn’t his playmate anymore. I didn’t have the same rules.

“I think it’s quite a coincidence that you fell ill days after you were relieved from your duties as my playmate,” he spoke as if he was just telling a story.

I pulled myself away from him and closer to the stone wall. I was his server now, not his playmate. These actions were inappropriate.

“Don’t pull away from me,” he snapped but I pulled away even more, fully pressing myself against the wall.

My actions made him angry. He grabbed my arm and jerked my back toward him. I didn’t have the strength or energy to fight him of stop myself. I rolled completely over and lay on my back, head turned toward him. I stared at his leg, refusing to meet his gaze. I felt tears welling up in my eyes but I desperately fought to keep them back.

I heard him take in a short gasp of air and felt his hand release me and hang above my skin. I felt his eyes on my face and shame washed over me. I couldn’t look well. I’d been laying in bed for weeks, it felt like. I hadn’t been eating and could feel myself shrinking away. I was a disgusting mess. He’d surely realize that soon enough and leave.

He didn’t leave though. Gently placed his hands on my cheeks and rubbed the tears I away that I’d been completely unaware of. I lifted my eyes, deciding it would be okay to look at him now. I regretted the decision immediately though. His ocean blue eyes were boring straight into my soul, picking apart everything that was left of me.

He was thinner too, and dark circles hung under his eyes. His skin was pale and his hair was hanging limply around his face.

A sarcastic laugh escaped his lips as I stared intently into his sad eyes. Zayn was right, he didn’t look much better than I felt, but I had been able to just lie around. Louis didn’t have that luxury.

“What a fine mess we’re both in,” he smiled sadly as his laugh faded.

I still didn’t respond, but felt anger bubble inside of me. He had done this. He was the one to blame for this mess. He had no right to act as if we had both played part in this disaster.

“You’ll never forgive me, will you?” He questioned with all traces of the smile gone.

He was staring at me with an intensity I’d never seen before. He was looking for the answer in my gaze, knowing I wouldn’t respond verbally. I hoped he wouldn’t see that I’d already forgiven him. I would gladly move into his arms again and stay by his side always if it meant not feeling like this. One look at his face and I’d broken my resolve. The feel of his hands on my face was enough to make me do anything for him, but I couldn’t let him know that.

As much as I wanted to fall into his arms and lay there forever, there was this little part inside me that was speaking just above a whisper. It was saying that no matter what Louis tells me, no matter what happens inside this room, Louis will marry Eleanor. He will be the King of England, and I will be no more to him than what I am now. It would only hurt worse, the longer I hold on to him.

“I miss you, Hazza,” he whispered so low I could barely understand him.

I saw the pain in his eyes and knew he was speaking the truth, but I couldn’t bring myself to break the last little bit of reserve. I couldn’t go back to the way things were, he couldn’t go back. My life as his playmate was over and I had to accept that, but so did he.

All my emotions were swirling around in my head and I couldn’t help but feel as if a battle was taking place there.

“Please talk to me,” his voice broke and I could see tears now forming in his eyes.

His grip got a little tighter on my head as he begged for me to respond. He looked so desperate and crazed. I’d never seen him this way. I had to look away from him. My gaze rested on his stomach. I heard him breathe in deeply then he released my face.

“I…” he cut himself off and then took another shaky breath.

I didn’t dare look at his face again, scared of what I’d see and what I’d do. I stared at his stomach, seeing it slightly rise and fall.

“I’m freeing you.” 

His words were short but strong. It was a command, not a promise. My gazed snapped back up to him. I was confused. Did I hear him correctly?

“I’m giving you a bit of land just beyond the city limits where you can live, free of ever having to see me again,” I saw tears fall as he spoke and I reached up to wipe them away.

It hurt him to let me go, just like it hurt Elizabeth, though they both believed I was going somewhere better. Elizabeth had loved me though. Is it possible that Louis felt the same?

“I’ll have it prepared for you. It should be ready by tomorrow,” tears were steadily leaking from his misty blue eyes.

I felt myself begin to cry as well. I loved him, I believe I always will, but I have to get away. I can’t have him. He will never be mine. I firmly gripped his cheeks and looked straight into his eyes and repeated my first words to him.

“Thank you.”

The intensity of my emotion and the meaning of the words were the same. He was releasing me from my prison. He was still my savior.

He brought his hands up to rest on my cheeks then and we stared at each other for a few moments before he pulled us close into a passionate kiss.

It was needy and desperate. We’d been separated for so long, but the moment our lips touched it was as if they’d never been apart. Our tongues danced together with a sense of urgency that I felt throughout the entire kiss. Both our tears mixed as we clung to each other, pulling as close as possible.

When air was necessary we pulled our mouths apart but kept our foreheads connected. I opened my eyes to find his blue ones staring right back.

He took another shaky breath and pecked our lips together then pulled back. He looked as if he was debating something inside himself. He stared hard into my eyes, searching for his answer. He closed his eyes from a moment before reopening them and looking determined.

His mouth opened then and let out, in a tiny whisper, but with so much intensity, a phrase I’d never imagined hearing from him.

“I love you, Hazza.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH**

I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think. His words replayed over and over in my mind.

“I love you, Hazza.”

Was I dreaming? Is this some kind of cruel joke? I continued to stare at him, expecting him to start laughing, to deny it, but he didn’t. His gaze matched mine confidently. He had said it, and he wasn’t ashamed to admit it.

“I love you more than I’ve ever loved another person.”

He was still so close to my face I could feel his breath. I could smell his musky scent that could only be described as Louis. All my senses were amplified as I took in everything, not wanting to miss a moment.

“You’re everything to me, and it’s scary. I can’t be so dependent on you, not if I’m going to make a good king.”

I heard his words and knew they should hurt, but they didn’t. Every part of me was filled with joy. He loved me. Nothing else mattered. Louis loved me.

“I don’t understand why I want you so desperately, Hazza. You’re like the air I breathe. I can’t survive without you. I’ve never met another boy that loves his playmate like I love you. Those days you were angry with me this winter, I hurt so much. I never want you to be angry. I only want to see you smile and know I caused it. I want to be with you always and never hurt you again.”

He was rambling again, but I didn’t care. He could ramble for the rest of our lives and I wouldn’t care. He had said it again, he loved me. He wanted me. He needed me.

“I… It just hurts so much that I’ll never be able to be with you,” he whispered to me.

He squeezed my cheeks a little tighter and I felt that he was trembling. I felt my own hands tremble as well. He was speaking the truth.

I don’t know what hurts worse, thinking he doesn’t love me or knowing he does but can do nothing about it. We aren’t meant to be. Somehow our paths managed to cross and intertwine in ways they never should’ve. We’ll both have to move on from our forbidden love. There was no other choice.

Suddenly he completely released me and stood from the bed. I had no time to react and grab for him. He was across the room before I could register what was happening. Before he finally exited though, he paused and looked back at me.

“Your new home will be ready by tomorrow.”

I shook my head at him. I didn’t want to leave the palace, but he gave me a sad smile in return.

“This is what we both need, Hazza. I wish you the best. You certainly deserve it.”

With that he was gone. I began to step from the bed but felt extremely tired and weak. I was having trouble sitting up, I’d never be able to follow him.

Had I really let myself slip so far? I didn’t even have the strength to get out of bed anymore. I’d been eating though, more and more. How could this be happening?

Almost as soon as the thought crossed my mind, the door opened, and Niall walked in with my tray of food.

“You’re awake,” he smiled brightly and set the tray down on my bedside table, “I don’t remember the last time I saw you awake.”

Everything began to quickly fall into place, making so much sense. Niall hated the royal family. Niall wanted to go home, back to Ireland. Niall was the kitchen boy, he was constantly around every bit of food that came from the kitchen. It was Niall. It had to be. He killed the king and now he’s killing me.

I felt betrayed. What had I ever done to him? The king had imprisoned him and forced him into servitude. I’d only ever treated him as a friend.

“Why?” I croaked out to him.

If he was surprised by my question, he didn’t show it. He merely matched my gaze as I stared at him.

“Why what?” he asked back, playing the ever innocent boy.

“Why are you killing me?”

The words weren’t as hard to speak as I thought they would be. They just rolled from my mouth as if I was discussing the weather. Niall never even flinched.

“He doesn’t deserve you, Harry. You’re worth so much more than he could ever give. Look at what he’s done to you,” he gestured to my deteriorating form, lying curled on the bed.

“He told me he loves me,” I defended Louis.

“But yet he’s still sending you away. Will you ever be happy? Can you ever truly be happy again?”

I knew what he was doing, and it was working. He was right. I’d never be happy again without Louis. Knowing that he returned my feelings only made it worse. I wanted to die. I’ve wanted to die since he took away my title as playmate. This would only quicken the process that was sure to happen anyway. I wasn’t in any physical pain. Maybe it would be better this way.

“Then why the king?”

Speaking was beginning to get tiresome. I was exhausted from the conversation I’d just had with Louis and I couldn’t handle any more strenuous thinking.

“I want Louis to suffer,” Niall’s smile dropped and his voice turned to a growl, “He ordered that my father be executed a week after the rebellion. I want him to suffer now, as much as I suffered.”

I heard all the rage dripping from his words. I felt the tension in the room. Niall was seeking revenge, and so far he’d gotten away with it. I suppose when I’m gone, he’ll still get away with it. No one will investigate my death. No one will realize he is the only common factor between the King’s food that day and mine.

“But poison was found on Louis’ plate,” I countered.

“I put it on his roll. I knew he’d give it to you,” Niall answered truthfully.

He’d planned to kill me that day. My best mate wanted to have me killed for the sake of revenge. Louis and I had been distant then, but nothing like we are now. How could he justify my death then?

Strangely enough though, I didn’t want to know the answer. I didn’t need to hear that from him. I could feel my eyes drooping and didn’t know if sleep was whisking me away or death.

“How long do I have?” I asked him, a strange calm settling over me.

“I don’t know. I’ve been slowly poisoning your food the past two weeks.”

I reached over to the tray of food and Niall quickly reached to hand me what I’d wanted. A roll. I sunk my teeth into it and chewed the warm bread slowly. I glanced up at Niall as I ate. He didn’t look regretful.

“He was freeing me. He was giving me land,” I told Niall, wanting to tell someone before I died, “And he told me he loved me. He actually loves me, Niall.”

I felt a small smile creep onto my face. He really did love me. All this time, he really did love me.

“He does,” Niall said back, sitting on the edge of my bed.

“All these years I’ve loved him. He loved me back,” I felt tears start to fall.

This was it. I could feel it. I knew death was coming. My body was getting heavy. My brain was getting foggy. That roll had pushed my last ounce of life from my fingers.

Niall grabbed onto my hand and held on tightly as I spoke my last words to him. I smiled through my tears and managed to let out one more phrase before succumbing to Death’s will.

“Louis loves me.”


	23. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **MORE DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH AND THEN THE STORY ENDS**

It was a very cold day in April, colder than it’s been since late January. A chill ran up my spine as I stood out on the cold palace grounds. I wasn’t crying, but only one person present was.

Louis.

He’d been crying for weeks now. I could see the signs of tears anytime I looked at him, but he always denied anything was wrong. He hid nothing now though. He sobbed openly as only a few people stood around the hole in the ground that Harry was slowly being lowered into.

Harry had been everything to Louis. He had been since the day he arrived at the palace. Louis always talked about him, always made sure Harry was okay. This time though, Louis had done nothing. He had finally cut his ties with his playmate. The pressure of it all was probably too much for Harry, but in the end, that’s not what got him.

The kitchen boy had killed him. The Irish Prince had done exactly what he planned to do, hurt Louis. He had killed our father, then he had killed Louis’ one and only love. Harry was the victim. He’d always been the victim.

In the beginning I couldn’t help but be angry with Louis. Where was he when this happened? Why hadn’t he stopped it? Harry could be alive right now if Louis had only tried harder. But I knew these thoughts were irrational. Louis had a responsibility to our country that no one else could possibly understand. 

Louis’ sobs drowned out the sound of dirt being thrown onto the coffin. I cringed as I watched him visibly shake. He would never recover from this. He would forever be in pieces over the death of his playmate. This had destroyed him.

“Let’s go back inside, Charlotte.” Felicite said, pulling on my sleeve.

I turned to her then glanced back at Louis. He would no doubt want time alone to grieve. I nodded back at my sister and walked inside with her.

Three hours later I noticed that Louis still had not made it back into the palace yet. He was still outside in the cold. Upon peaking out a window I saw that he was now sitting on the ground beside the pile of dirt that marked the site of Harry’s burial.

It had begun to drizzle and he was out there without a warm coat. I sighed to myself and retrieved one for him before making my way out to him again.

When I reached him I saw that he was soaked, but he was talking now. He was talking to Harry, as if he was still here, listening to his every word.

“Do you remember the day I tried to teach you to ride? I was so worried you’d fall off I lost control of my own horse. I should have just put you on my horse. What was I thinking?” I heard a slight chuckle in his voice and smiled to myself.

“Louis, I thought you might need this,” I interrupted his memory to give him the coat.

He turned back and looked at me and I saw the smallest hint of a smile playing at his lips. He’d never been able to frown when he was talking with Harry, never. I smiled sadly at him and laid the jacket across his shoulders.

“Thank you,” he whispered, adjusting it.

I watched him for a few moments before smoothing out my skirt and sitting beside him in the quickly forming mud.

“Charlotte, you’ll catch your death out here,” his protective older brother tone came out but I ignored it.

“What was Harry like?” I asked gently and Louis looked away to the pile of dirt.

I’d never really known him, only saw him with Louis and occasionally heard him speak. He was silent mostly, but that was just to me. He and Louis shared something that I could only dream of having with another person.

“He is the most spectacular person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.”

Louis’ whisper matched the light drops of rain falling over us and the soft breeze that was making the air so cold.

“Did you love him?” I asked quietly, scared that my question may not be received well.

“I still do, with every ounce of my soul.”

He hadn’t even flinched. He was speaking in hushed tones, but his words were clear and determined. He had loved his playmate.

“What about Eleanor? Do you love her?” I asked, now suddenly curious.

He paused now, looked away from the pile of dirt to my face then back again. He took a deep breath and I could practically see him closing me out. It was like he was building up a fortress around his love for Harry and not letting anyone inside its walls.

“I do love her.”

He didn’t. I could tell by the way his voice became slightly deeper that he was lying to me. It hurt that he would lie, but I understood. He was lying for me. He wanted me to think he would be okay, that he would pull through this. I knew better though. This would be his undoing. The death of his playmate would be as damaging as his own death.

“What will happen to the Irish Prince?”

“He’ll be executed for murder on two counts. His head will ride to battle against the Irish until their revolt is over,” Louis’ words were coarse and mean as he spoke with anger.

I waited a minute or so before speaking again.

“What will you do now?”

“I’ll rule my country.”

The words had come out quickly. A reflex. After a tragedy, when asked what the king will do he very simply responds, I’ll rule my country. It’s vague but true, the king will go on to continue ruling his country. This time though, I couldn’t help but think that Louis was lying. That he wouldn’t go on to rule his country. How could he now? 

We sat in silence for a few moments before Louis spoke again. He had resorted back to a whisper.

“He really was the best thing to ever happen to me.”

I leaned over and rested my head on my brother’s shoulder, watching the pile of dirt as if it would disappear if I were to blink.

“Tell me about him,” I requested and I heard Louis let out a shaky breath and a soft chuckle.

“That will take all night,” he told me.

“I’ve got the time.” 

After a minute’s hesitation, he began talking. He recited the story of he and Harry, from the very beginning. He told it in detail that I would not have been able to remember myself, but Louis had forgotten nothing. He did spare a few particulars though, claiming that he’d not ruin my virgin ears with his story, but that was it. Every moment of Louis’ life from his eighth birthday revolved around Harry.

Many hours later, we were still sitting at Harry’s grave. The rain had stopped but pools of water were still settled on the moist ground. The sun was beginning to set now, as Louis was finally finishing his story. We hadn’t moved at all from our positions.

“Then I left him. It had been my intention to never see him again, but to know that he was safe and happy. I just wanted him to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. Sometimes my own quest for happiness would just blind my vision,” he finished his tale and I heard the tears in his voice.

He’d struggle to make it through the story in some parts, but he’d made it. I knew every aspect of his past eight years. He’d cared so much for his playmate. Loved him so tenderly.

“You should get inside, you’ve got lessons tomorrow,” he said as he kissed my hair.

I lifted me head from his shoulder and began to stand. When I stood completely and saw that he wasn’t moving, I looked back at him, meeting his gaze.

“Aren’t you coming?”

“I will, I just want a few more minutes alone,” he assured me with a smile.

I knew he was lying to me. I could see it on his face. I could hear it in his voice. Yet I did nothing to stop him. I only nodded and made my way back into the palace and up to my bed chamber for a nights rest.

Late that night, the Irish Prince escaped. He stole a horse and rode to Lord Payne’s Estate where he met Liam Payne and Liam’s playmate. They all three acquired horses and rode south to the border where they escaped the country. This was all discovered late the next morning though, after the air of the palace had settled.

What woke me in the middle of the night was a shrill scream. One that echoed and rang from every corner and crevice of the palace, down every corridor, through every room. It was the scream of a servant girl, a friend of Harry’s who had gone to see him and found the unthinkable. Her king was lying in the mud, right next to the pile of dirt, just as stiff and lifeless as his lover, a dagger dug straight through his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FACTS!!!
> 
> This is where I’m going to reveal a few of the things about the story that you wouldn’t know. Not necessary to the plot, just some fun facts for you all. Don’t have to read.
> 
> -I came up with the idea for this story while reading over a paper I’d written a few years ago for a European History Class about homosexuality in ancient times.
> 
> -In my original plan Harry and Louis were not supposed to die, they were going to run away together, but as I wrote more and more I realized that the Louis character I had created would have never done that.
> 
> -After I decided they weren’t running away together I was just going to kill off Harry, but not with poison. Louis was going to be holding Harry as he died and tell him that he loved him for the first time. I changed this though when the poison became part of the plot.
> 
> -I was going to make Liam the murderer, then I was going to make it Zayn, but I couldn’t figure out a reason that either of them would want to kill the king. I had intended the murderer to be completely unexpected, but failed miserably. I hope that part didn’t suck.
> 
> -I knew before I even posted this story on this site that it would have a sad ending…
> 
> -I was going to have Zayn run away with Niall and Harry the night of Louis’ party. Zayn was going to go south then east to find his home while Niall and Harry were going to make it to Ireland. Zayn was going to get away, but Harry was going to get hurt and him and Niall were going to live in the woods for a few days before being caught and taken back. This changed though, when I realized it was December and they would freeze to death.
> 
> -Originally, I’d even written the chapter already but then went back and changed it, Niall was going to be an Irish immigrant, not a prince. His father and brother were stable hands and his mom was Daisy’s nanny. Then I got to the chapter where Harry was going to run away and realized no one would run away with him so I changed Niall to a prince.
> 
> -I didn’t intend for the king to die at all but I was having a bad week into a bad weekend when I started that chapter and I just felt like I wanted to kill someone. He was the easiest target. Suddenly the plot twist with the poison was born and I had to find a murderer.
> 
> -Harry was going to run away again and Louis was going to personally get him back.
> 
> -I was actually going to make Harry die on Louis’ wedding day.
> 
> -I didn’t decide until this morning (morning that I originally wrote the Epilogue) that Louis was going to die as well. I thought it would only be fitting that they were finally together in the end.
> 
> -I wrote so many chapters before posting this story anywhere because I couldn’t come up with a title.
> 
> -I meant to incorporate the phrase, ‘As You Wish’ a lot more than I did.
> 
> -At one point while writing this story all my thoughts had an old time British accent.
> 
> -I would sometimes go back and reread the entire story and get mad at myself for not updating quickly enough. Even I wanted to know what happened next.
> 
> -I utilized Google more while writing this story than I’ve ever used it on a school project.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope everyone has enjoyed this now that I've posted it here!!! Much Love to all readers!


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